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Accountants in films

These films featured accountants - not all of them were boring either!
  • The Producers - Zero Mostel ropes accountant Gene Wilder into collaborating with him on a scheme to rip off old ladies. In the remake Nathan Lane persuades Matthew Broderick to abandon his accountancy career in favour of becoming a theatrical producer.
  • Ghostbusters - Rick Moranis is an accountant who, although possessed by evil spirits, asks who does monstrous Sigourney Weaver's tax return.
  • The Royal Tenenbaums - Danny Glover plays accountant Henry Sherman, Angelica Huston's dependable second husband.
  • The Closet - French superstar Daniel Autueil plays an accountant who pretends to be gay to keep his job in a condom factory.
  • Dave - Charles Grodin plays the president's accountant and solves the budget deficit in one overnight session, leaving the White House at dawn in his prudent small car.
  • Midnight Run - Charles Grodin again. Here he plays an accountant who steals from the rich and gives to the poor . Robert De Niro tracks him down when Grodin jumps bail.
  • Schindler's List - Ben Kingsley's bespectacled accountant helps save lives.
  • Erotica - the lead character is a bearded and gentlemanly accountant who gets increasingly hung up on a sneaky lap dancer whom he is forbidden to touch.
  • Jurassic Park - a weasel accountant spurns Jeff Goldblum's advice and gets devoured by a dinosaur.
  • Shedevil - Ed Begley Jr plays a sleazeball accountant upon whom Rosanne Barr wreaks a hideous revenge.
  • The Untouchables - Charles Martin Smith plays accountant Oscar Wallace and conceives the idea of nabbing Al Capone for tax evasion.
  • Hitch - Kevin James plays tax accountant Albert Brennaman, who woos and wins Amber Valletta just by being his booty-shaking, inhaler-snorting, passionate self.
  • Shallow Grave - Christopher Eccleston played chartered accountant David Stephens who gets drawn into the grisly goings-on in a shared Edinburgh flat.
  • The Apartment - Jack Lemmon's character CC Baxter introduces himself: "I work on the 19th floor. Ordinary Policy Department, Premium Accounting Division, Section W, desk number 861."
  • The Secret Life of Walter Mitty - Danny Kaye stars as a day-dreaming beancounter.
  • The Sea Change - Sean Chapman played a 'handsome, dashing and funny KPMG accountant named Rupert Granger.'
  • Local hero - Denis Lawson plays Gordon Urquhart, the hotel proprietor who is also the local accountant trusted to meet with the locals on behalf of a Texas oil company that wants to purchase the Scottish fishing village. .

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What kind of answer did you have in mind?

How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb?

Hmmm....let me run a few numbers and get back to you....

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Two. One to change it and one to make sure it was done within budget

And lastly, my favourite:

How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb?

One, but he'll have 1500 of them to do on 31st January.

(This response was suggested by Adrian Higgs)

Are you a prostitute or are you an auditor?

1. You work very odd hours.

2. You are paid a lot of money to keep your client happy.

3. You are paid well but your pimp gets most of the money.

4. You spend a majority of your time in a hotel room.

5. You charge by the hour but your time can be extended.

6. You are not proud of what you do.

7. Creating fantasies for your clients is rewarded.

8. It's difficult to have a family.

9. You have no job satisfaction.

10. If a client beats you up, the pimp just sends you to another client.

11. You are embarrassed to tell people what you do for a living.

12. People ask you, "What do you do?" and you can't explain it.

13. Your client pays for your hotel room plus your hourly rate.

14. Your client always wants to know how much you charge and what they get for the money.

15. Your pimp drives nice cars like Mercedes or Jaguars.

16. Your pimp encourages drinking and you become addicted to drugs to ease the pain of it all.

17. You know the pimp is charging more than you are worth but if the client…

Ken Dodd and the Inland Revenue

The comedian Ken Dodd, was prosecuted for tax evasion in 1989 as has been mentioned on this blog before, here and here. I'd love to find a clip of him talking about it in his act. For now though here are a couple of references to comments he makes about the experience.

He is known to introduce himself as a “failed accountant”. That, he explains, is simply to establish a rapport with the audience. “People today are all stressed out about home economics, and accountants are the current bogeymen. [Since when?]

Dodd is the butt of a lot of his material and repeated references are made to his love of money, his dislike of what he insists on calling the Inland Revenue and his past run-in with them. “They sent me a self-assessment form the other day. To me! I invented self-assessment.”

During the trial it was revealed that Dodd had very little money in his bank account. He did however have £336,000 in cash stashed in suitcases in his attic. When asked by the judge, "What does a…