Monday, December 24, 2007

Public Accounts Committee interviews Trevor Wooley - MOD

During the Commons Public Accounts Committee (PAC) hearing on the privatisation of QinetiQ, 3 December 2007, the Committee invited the Ministry Of Defence’s Trevor Woolly in for questioning.

What follows is an extract of a verbatim exchange at the start of his interview:

MR RICHARD BACON MP (CON, S. NORFOLK): Mr Woolley, are you a chartered accountant?
MR WOOLLEY: I am not.
BURTON: Are you a qualified financial person of any kind? Do you have any financial qualifications?
WOOLLEY: I do not have financial qualifications
BURTON: What is your job?
WOOLLEY: I am the finance director of the Ministry of Defence.

Classic!

Christmas puzzle

Imagine you are walking down the street late on Christmas eve when you think you see, ahead of you, three characters: A sweet natured, happy and helpful tax inspector, an aggressive, unpleasant and uncommercial tax inspector and a large jolly Father Christmas. As you watch them, you see them stop outside a bank where someone seems to have left a pile of cash just lying around.

Which of the 3 characters do you see picking up the cash and why?





At the risk of confirming unfair stereotypes. The answer is:
The nasty horrible tax inspector - as the other two don't really exist!

Friday, December 21, 2007

Tax themed Christmas carol

Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer
Hated paying NIC
Went to a sharp adviser
Paid the man a hefty fee

He told the other reindeer
You should do the same as me
Go and see my adviser
Get yourself an MSC

Then one foggy Christmas eve, the taxman came to say:
"Your idea was not so bright
You owe tax, you're banged to rights"

So all the deer were bankrupt
Didn't have a bean they said
Now taxman's after Santa
He'll be really in the red.

Written by Chris Williams of Baker Tilly and
first published in Taxation magazine 20 December 2007

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Christmas carols (1)

We nick ye merry gentlemen and confiscate your sleigh 
For using it to bootleg booze and ciggies from Calais 
To you we're wise, 
you've dodged excise, 
We've tailed you all the way. 

You're go-o- ing to pris-i-on old boy! 
Oh what a joy! 
You're go-o-ing to Wormwood Scrubs old boy! 

Written by Chris Williams and first published in Taxation magazine 20 December 2007

10 pop bands featuring accountants - or do they?

Ledger Zeppelin  The Rolling Balances  Fleetwood Macroeconomics  The Balance Sheetles  The Fiscal Fighters  The Profit Margin Boys The Doubl...