Michael Heaney tells the story of a friend of his who was out in a hot air balloon when he crash landed in a field.
Dusting himself down he saw a man walking a dog and called out to him. The man came over and my friend asked him where he was.
The man thought for a moment and said "You are about 2 feet off the ground in a wicker basket in the middle of a green field".
My friend said "You're a Chartered Accountant aren't you" The man said "Yes, how did you know?" My friend replied "It was simple really, the information you gave me was precise, accurate and totally bl**dy useless!"
(Had the joke finished here as it normally does, I might not have included it here as I'm not keen on reinforcing old stereotypes. But it continues with the Accoutant's reply to the balloonist:)
"And you must be a Manager -
you don't know where you are or where you are going,you have failed to control the situation you find yourself in. and now you expect someone else to solve your problem. The fact is you are exactly in the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault.."
With thanks to Michael Heaney of Benchwhistler Asscoiates Limited