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Tax tweets that raise a smile

Seems such a waste not to record these for posterity:

I once got a letter from the Inland Revenue asking me what my address was
@hmmmm_tea

called the inland revenue, 10 minutes of recorded announcements how I shouldn't call them because they have a website
@WebFreelancer

Having to speak to Inland Revenue today.... I will be washing my mouth out with tepid salt water immediately afterwards to avoid infection.
@brainopops

Just cost Revenue & Customs £45k by signing 600 Inland Revenue cheques for clients in time to get their £75 incentive. Satisfying work.
@rich_w

Inland Revenue - stop telling me to go to your website, I went there, it sucked and didn't tell me anything I needed to know, answer my call!
@TrillianNext

cold sweat. If one just gives ALL income straight to the Inland revenue when getting payed maybe then we'll be off the hook
@jonnalee

Wondering when, sweet lord, just when will the UK's inland revenue stop asking me for a tax return? Been gone from the UK for years now...
@csdot

I heard on the radio a couple of weeks ago that HMRC routinely ignore letters, fail to log calls etc. So I'm going to ignore them.
@snorestore

If you're curious about twitter - here's my take.
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1. You work very odd hours.

2. You are paid a lot of money to keep your client happy.

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The comedian Ken Dodd, was prosecuted for tax evasion in 1989 as has been mentioned on this blog before, here and here. I'd love to find a clip of him talking about it in his act. For now though here are a couple of references to comments he makes about the experience.

He is known to introduce himself as a “failed accountant”. That, he explains, is simply to establish a rapport with the audience. “People today are all stressed out about home economics, and accountants are the current bogeymen. [Since when?]

Dodd is the butt of a lot of his material and repeated references are made to his love of money, his dislike of what he insists on calling the Inland Revenue and his past run-in with them. “They sent me a self-assessment form the other day. To me! I invented self-assessment.”

During the trial it was revealed that Dodd had very little money in his bank account. He did however have £336,000 in cash stashed in suitcases in his attic. When asked by the judge, "What does a…