Thursday, September 24, 2009
Following a software update, HMRC's records show a number of their "customers" as being deceased.
To paraphrase Mark Twain, these reports of death are greatly exaggerated.
It is almost beyond a cliché to refer to the quote that death and taxes are the only two certainties in life but it would be worrying if HMRC were to assume responsibility for both. Unfortunately, HMRC are unlikely to accept that being officially recorded as dead removes the obligation to pay taxes and, in any case, there would then be inheritance tax to worry about.
Copied from Baker Tilly's weekly tax brief 23 Sept 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
'The first blade shaves you close.
'The second blade shaves you closer still.
'The third blade sets up your internet banking.
'The fourth blade shaves you closer still.
'The fifth blade does your VAT receipts and puts them in an office file, not a shoebox.
'The sixth blade...'
My thanks to Daniel at Taxation magazine for bringing this to my attention.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Absurd, Adequate, Adventurous, Agile, Amorous, Aphrodisiac, Approachable, Appropriate, Arousing, Arresting, Assisting, Astonishing, Astounding, Attentive, Attractive, Audacious, Auspicious, Authoritative, Autonomous, Available, Awe-inspiring.Any more?
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
" I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States. The only thing is—I could be just as proud for half the money."
- Arthur Godfrey
"Worried about an IRS audit? Avoid what's called a red flag. That's something the IRS always looks for. For example, say you have some money left in your bank account after paying taxes. That's a red flag."
- Jay Leno
"Day in and day out, your tax accountant can make or lose you more money than any single person in your life, with the possible exception of your kids."
- Harvey Mackay
"There's nothing wrong with the younger generation that becoming taxpayers won't cure."
- Dan Bennett
"People who complain about paying their income tax can be divided into two types: men and women."
"If you get up early, work late, and pay your taxes, you will get ahead -- if you strike oil."
- J. Paul Getty
Previous posts containing tax quotes can be found through this link
Monday, September 14, 2009
If the FD is really bad, he will be fired - leaving a vacancy
If the company prospers the FD may well land the top job - leaving a vacancy
If the MD dies or retires only the FD has sufficient familiarity with all aspects of the business to take over - leaving a vacancy
If the company is doing badly, the FD will know first and will leave before anybody else finds out - leaving a vacancy
(According to Peter Vaines and Roger Nuttall in their book "The Bottom Line")
Saturday, September 12, 2009
My accountant told me to put money into LAND.... so I dug a hole and put it in the garden...
We're taking a cab up to Cambridge, our cabbie is a former accountant (with his own Blackberry!). Man, the recession is worse than I thought
Mother is discussing invoicing with me (she's an accountant). Hope she doesn't plan on submitting one for my first 18 years.
My (just turned) 2yo just counted to ten! He might be an accountant like his uncle.
If all the economists in the world were laid end to end they still wouldn't reach a conclusion. -accountant father in law
Sorry about this one... A tongue tried to hire an accountant. The accountant said no. There's no accounting for taste.