Thursday, September 24, 2009

HMRC's computers – an unfortunate conjunction of death and taxes?

Following a software update, HMRC's records show a number of their "customers" as being deceased.

To paraphrase Mark Twain, these reports of death are greatly exaggerated.

It is almost beyond a cliché to refer to the quote that death and taxes are the only two certainties in life but it would be worrying if HMRC were to assume responsibility for both. Unfortunately, HMRC are unlikely to accept that being officially recorded as dead removes the obligation to pay taxes and, in any case, there would then be inheritance tax to worry about.

Copied from Baker Tilly's weekly tax brief 23 Sept 2009

Monday, September 21, 2009

What else can a man's razor do?

Radio 4's That Mitchell and Webb Sound recently featured a sketch about a typically overblown razor ad for the Accelerator 12-Blade:

'The first blade shaves you close.

'The second blade shaves you closer still.

'The third blade sets up your internet banking.

'The fourth blade shaves you closer still.

'The fifth blade does your VAT receipts and puts them in an office file, not a shoebox.

'The sixth blade...'

My thanks to Daniel at Taxation magazine for bringing this to my attention.

Friday, September 18, 2009

How NOT to describe an accountant

A business coach was looking for an alliterative approach to use when targeting accountants. The following positive adjectives were all identified as possible aspirations but rejected at least partly for having the potential to be misunderstood in the context of accountants:
Absurd, Adequate, Adventurous, Agile, Amorous, Aphrodisiac, Approachable, Appropriate, Arousing, Arresting, Assisting, Astonishing, Astounding, Attentive, Attractive, Audacious, Auspicious, Authoritative, Autonomous, Available, Awe-inspiring.
Any more?

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Fun tweets about accountants

I've been posting the occasional list of fun tax tweets I've picked up on twitter. This time I'm sharing tweets about accountants that made me smile.

My accountant told me to put money into LAND.... so I dug a hole and put it in the garden...

We're taking a cab up to Cambridge, our cabbie is a former accountant (with his own Blackberry!). Man, the recession is worse than I thought

Mother is discussing invoicing with me (she's an accountant). Hope she doesn't plan on submitting one for my first 18 years.

My (just turned) 2yo just counted to ten! He might be an accountant like his uncle.

If all the economists in the world were laid end to end they still wouldn't reach a conclusion. -accountant father in law

Sorry about this one... A tongue tried to hire an accountant. The accountant said no. There's no accounting for taste.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

The Queen's tax planning is quite basic

According to this Spitting Image sketch, the Queen's new accountants are the Marx Brothers, masquerading as: Bogus, Bogus & Fiddle.

The journalist, the engineer, the lawyer and the accountant

A businessman was interviewing applicants for the position of Divisional Manager. He devised a simple test to select the most suitable perso...