Wednesday, August 25, 2010

The 5 worst things that happen to auditors

  1. Getting in early only to find the manager who's got all the answers is not in today
  2. Being asked to process a whole shed-load of material adjustments 1 hour before the audit is supposed to finish
  3. Realising that the 'we-could-finish-a-week-early-and-have-a-jolly' budget has disappeared into thin air
  4. Being shoved into a cold, pokey, little room in the basement with no windows, mobile phone reception, printer or copier, miles away from where all the people you need to speak to work and 12 floors from the nearest decent snacks vending machine
  5. Finding out that your favourite prestigious audit client has gone bust and your audit partner has gone missing.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Should tax advisers abide by a dress code?

A correspondent wrote to the FT's Dear Lucy's column in July about dress codes referencing a particularly 'tight dress' she had been advised not to wear.

In her reply, columnist Lucy Kellaway included this reference to female tax advisers:
"Depending on the country and line of business you are in, the dress may be OK – or not. It’s all pretty arbitrary. We tolerate less flesh from the person who is doing our tax returns than from the person who is cutting our hair. Stupid, really; but that’s the way it goes."
The picture I've attached to this piece is of Britt Savage from the Nashville band Twang Deluxe who shredded a pile of tax forms to make the dress you see her wearing!

Friday, August 20, 2010

ASBOs out TAXBOs in

Last week guidance was published explaining how HMRC intend to apply the law that now allows them to publish the details of tax evaders.

George Bull of Baker Tilly has christened the concept TAXBOs. He notes the irony of this as ASBOs are now on their way out.....

It could catch on - although I note that Barry Hutton in South Africa got their first with his accountancy practice, Taxbo Services which was established in 1988.

Driving away from the tax office...

A man was driving away from the tax office when all of a sudden he has to swerve to avoid a box falling off the lorry in front. Seconds later a policeman pulled him over for reckless driving. As the policeman starting writing the ticket he noticed the box was full of nails and tacks.

"I had to swerve or I'd have run over those and blown my tyres!" protested the driver.

"Ok", replied the officer, ripping up the ticket, "but I'm still bringing you in."

"What for?!" retorted the man.

"Tacks evasion", answered the policeman.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

A P45 on the tube?

Saw this ad on a tube train the other day. As it's for office use I guess the target audience will all understand the reference to a P45.

Monday, August 09, 2010

Beancounters' overture

That was the headline for a small piece at the back of the Business section of yesterday's Sunday Times.
Apparently 18 "of PwC's finest" are competing in 'Don't stop believing' on 15 August 2010.
"For the uninitiated, this is a TV show on Channel Five where contestants sing. I hear the staffers wanted to incorporate PwC into their act's name but management weren't keen so they've gone for 'Elements'.

The group, formed of 14 women and 4 men wearing pinstripes and shirts with velcro fastenings, will perform a mix of 'Walk this way' and 'Nine to five'. I'm not supoosed to tell you what they'll do with the shirts but there may be a partial revelation of assets."
The piece is accompanied by a clever cartoon (by Pilbrow) showing a balding man watching the tv show. His angry wife is complaining: "You usually hate looking at accountants' figures."

Wednesday, August 04, 2010

Recruitment ad for SAO?

Fall guy required for Simple Accounting Office (SAO) role.
Shy retiring accountant preferred.
Needs to be reasonable. Will be held to account.
Simple duties...
... Just sign one document per annum.

Monday, August 02, 2010

The naked accountant

Don't get excited - that's it.
That's the only photo on a one page website that then lists the (accounting) services available from the accountant in question.

I don't know (or want to know) if the photo is true to life!

Five funny money and tax one-liners

“It’s tax time . I know this because I’m staring at documents that make no sense to me, no matter how many beers I drink” - Dave Barry “...