1. You shall have no other Gods before me.
2. You shall not make for yourself any graven image of a tax inspector to throw darts at.
3. You shall not take the name of George Osborne in vain.
4. Remember the 5th April to keep it holy. If you have not saved tax by then, you may as well rest on that day.
5. Honour your accountant, who is doing a very good job for you.
6. You shall not murder, unless it is a City banker.
7. You shall not commit adultery – because marriage is tax efficient.
8. You shall not steal, unless you are Robin Hood.
9. You shall not bare false witness against your neighbour, unless your neighbour is a benefit thief.
10. You shall not covet your neighbour’s hammock, unless your neighbour is Gillian McKeith or Lembit Opik.