Wednesday, January 19, 2011

The Accountants Pie (song parody)

A.P.B Pie
(To be sung to the tune of American Pie - with apologies to Don McLean, but it fits really well)

A long long time ago, I can still remember
When my job used to make me smile
And I knew I could have a bash at saving my clients loads of cash
And maybe we'd be happy for a while
But regulation made me shiver, with every standard they'd deliver
Bad news on the doorstep, I couldn't take one more step
I can't remember if I cried when I saw I.S.A three one five
But something touched me deep inside the day that Enron died

So why why oh A.P.B why?
Do the standards get longer when you clarify?
Just one more schedule on an audit file
Oh that'll be the day that I die, that'll be the day that I die

Hey do you remember A.T.C?, P.E 1 and an S.S.A.P?
but nostalgia’s not what it used to be
And do you remember tick and bash, selecting samples, counting cash
And programmes that came from you and me
I saw you playing cricket with Jim with a ruler, a rubber and a rubbish bin
Awful coffee in a plastic cup, five pints at lunchtime down the pub
Oh this was a job we all could hack with a plastic briefcase and an audit pack
We did it all without looking back
Up to the day that Enron died

So why why oh A.P.B why?
Do the standards get longer when you clarify?
Just one more schedule on an audit file
Oh that'll be the day that I die, that'll be the day that I die

I met a girl who sang the blues, so I asked her for some happy news
But she just smiled and turned away
And I went down to the stationery store, where I’d stolen tipex long before
But the man said no 7 column here today
And in the office the R.I dreamed of full recovery on an audit fee
When there was no regulator but he had a texas calculator
And three things we treat with reverence, integrity, judgement and common sense
Shut down their laptops and hopped over the fence the day that Enron died

So why why oh A.P.B why?
Do the standards get longer when you clarify?
Just one more schedule on an audit file
Oh that'll be the day that I die, that'll be the day that I die

With all credit/blame to Nigel Hughes
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