Friday, October 19, 2012
Harry Potter and the Balance Sheet
ONCE UPON A TIME there was a boy called Harry Potter, whose uncle told him he was a liability. But the boy felt unwilling to accept this designation without qualification, since his parents were off-balance sheet, ie, missing.
One day, a strange visitor named Hagrid gave the boy professional advice. “This advice is provided to you without prejudice,” he said. “Your fortunes may go up or they may go down. But due diligence requires me to inform you that you are not a liability of the muggle class, but an asset of the wizard class.”
The young asset travelled to Hogwart’s School for a set of “add value” courses expected by analysts to cause a significant appreciation in his book value.
In class, Harry met a female asset called Hermione and thought about having a merger with her. But he was distracted because an outside party called Voldemort earmarked him for 100 per cent depreciation, ie, death.
A huge takeover battle followed, with Voldemort attempting a hostile acquisition followed by a total liquidation of Harry and associated assets. Harry won by using an unlisted extraordinary item called heroism.
In a huge EGM of interested parties at Hogwarts Hall, Harry found that his book value had increased considerably. However, there was no merger with Hermione. “Also, I haven’t found my parents, who are still listed as receivables,” Harry said. As a result, analysts suggested that there may be room for subsidiary or spin-off adventures.
As imagined by Nury Sam Jam Vittachi