Here's a random selection of contributions received from accountants a few years ago in response to the question:
What do clients say that winds you up?
- "I just popped everything in this carrier bag here - I knew you could sort it all out for me."
- "My friend's accountant says....."
- "I need a mortgage reference - you WILL make the figures look good for me won't you?"
- "A friend in the pub said that he's certain that...."
- "My van was broken into and........... all of my receipts were stolen"
- "My son has been onto the HMRC web site and......."
- " I've already signed my tax return. Just fill in the details as usual"
- "If I've made that much money, where's it all gone" Answer: "You've spent it, sunshine"
- "I've checked my tax return and it's wrong...the profit figure on the accounts isn't the same as the taxable profits figure on the tax return"
- "It shouldn't be much work"
- "You can't have our bank statements we have shredded them. It said on the news that the police wanted everyone to shred their bank statements to avoid ID theft"
- "How can I have made such much profit when I've no money left in the bank"
- "My mate in the pub knows someone whose uncle-in-law reckons that I'm being overcharged"
- "Wow that's a lot less than I'm currently paying my accountant" (at which point you start to ask - why? What have I missed? - or doh!!)