With many thanks to Rod Wilson of RWA Ltd Accountants (Rod tells me that RWA = Really Wicked Accountants)
Friday, October 09, 2015
New style definitions of common accountancy terms
Profit – A chief executive who gives the accountant the bottom-line.
Debtor – A high society fillies’ coming out trip.
Corporation Tax – A levy on people with large stomachs.
Turnover – The number of times customers are fooled into buying your product.
Budget – A caged bird that can fly through the sound barrier.
Expended – Exhausted from all that shopping.
Drawings – The creative art of taking money from your business.
Stock-take – Counting the number of items taken home from work without payment.
Book-keeping – Those books not given to the accountant.
Fixed Cost – Size of required bribe.
Cost Accounting – Size of accountants' bill.
Liability – A gift for telling the opposite of the truth without detection.
And finally –
Asset – A complete collection of posteriors.
A new managing partner was about to be appointed at a large accountancy firm. His predecessor met with him privately and presented him wit...
1. You work very odd hours. 2. You are paid a lot of money to keep your client happy. 3. You are paid well but your pimp gets most of the ...
"Do accountants laugh?" was a question posed online by top Comedy Magician, John Archer ahead of a gig for accountants. Among th...
What follows is an entertaining analysis of the merger of two accounting bodies as if they had met and married in 2014 in a lavish ceremony ...