Friday, March 25, 2016

A quick thinking junior accountant

Some years back a trainee accountant joined the headquarters of a large firm. He was a graduate of a top University and thought rather highly of himself.

On his first day he dialled the canteen and shouted into the phone, “Get me some coffee, quick!”

The voice from the other side responded “You fool, you’ve dialled the wrong extension! Do you know who you are talking to?”

“No”, replied the trainee.

“It’s the Managing Partner, you fool!” The voice shouted back.

The trainee did some quick thinking and asked forcefully, “And do you know who you’re talking
to, you fool?”

“No”, replied the Managing Partner.

“Good”, said the trainee as he hung up.

Just as well this was long before we all had trackable direct dial extension numbers and caller display!

Friday, March 18, 2016

Why are accountants.....?

You know how Google offers you suggestions as to what others have searched for with the same opening words as you have typed in the search box?

Here are some screen shots of what Google suggested for 3 searches starting: "Why are accountants..."

I especially like the fact that there's only one common question starting: Why are accountants always..."

Which is your favourite?







My thanks to David Lewis for prompting me about this, following a similar experiment conducted by Adrian Pearson.



Friday, March 11, 2016

Dr Who once did tax returns satire


There was 4 part story called  The Sunmakers broadcast during Tom Baker's time as the Doctor. At the start of the first episode the Doctor encounters a character contemplating suicide because he can't afford to pay his taxes. The Doctor assures him he just needs a good accountant.

Most of the corridors in The Sunmakers were named after UK tax forms (circa 1977), as the story was intended as a satire of contemporary British taxes.

HOW strong is HMRC's case?

Years ago a senior official was talking about HMRC prosecution policy. He mentioned an occasion when he had lost a case and went back to his...