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Showing posts from May, 2016

Outrageous late payment excuses

This only has a tangential connection with accountancy but still feels worth sharing here. Drawn from a survey conducted by FreeAgent and summarised on AccountingWeb:
Can I just buy you a pint and call it quits?Our chief executive is still on his sailing holidayI have been in hospital for 2 weeks to have my tonsils taken out (they hadn’t)My cat is sickMy dog ate your invoiceYour invoice was unethicalI have no money left, but you’ll get what you’re owed if you work on my new project. And move with me to Qatar.You didn’t chase me enough for payment(to a professional photographer) The photograph you took is of me, so I don’t need to pay youI referred you to a friend, so I thought that would mean you wouldn't charge me Any more?

There are only two types of accountants in the world....

There are more than two types of aphorisms along these lines. Here are some of my faves. Any more?

There are only three types of accountants in the world....
....Those who can count and those who can't.

There are only 10 types of accountants in the world....
.... Those who understand binary and those who don't

There are only two types of accountants in the world....
....Those who walk into a room and say, ‘There you are!’ – and those who say, ‘Here I am!’ ”  (original credited to Abigail Van Buren)

There are only two types of accountants in the world....
.....Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data



What might GAAP stand for?

Strictly speaking GAAP stands for Generally Accepted Accounting Principles but I prefer the suggestion that GAAP is the difference between accounting theory and accounting practice.

Or could it stand for one of the following?

Greatly Anticipated Auditing Performance
or
Grossly Aggressive Accountant's Punches
or
Gently Activating Accountant's Pencil
or
Generally Accidental Accounting Practices

Can you suggest any others?