Skip to main content

Audit file rock


Another song penned by Accountant Nigel Hughes. This one should be sung to the tune of the Elton John classic, Crocodile Rock:

I remember when we were young,
Me and Susie having so much fun
Audit programme and an ICQ,
I had a battered ford escort and an M&S suit.
But the biggest kick we ever got,
Was doing a thing called the audit file rock.
While other kids were rocking round the clock,
We were Ticking and Bashing to the audit file rock

Chorus
Well audit file rocking is something shocking,
When your feet just can't keep still
I never knew me a better time, and I guess I never will.
In the office 'til late at night,
Trying to get our double entry right,
And audit file rocking was outta sight.

Well the years went by, now I’m an RI
Susie went and left us for a big 4 guy,
Long nights crying by the coffee machine
Worrying 'bout ISAs and the QAD.
But they'll never kill the thrills we got,
Burning up to the audit file rock
Learning fast as the weeks went past
We really thought the audit file rock would last.

Repeat chorus
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb?

How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb?




How many would you like it to be?

How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb?




What kind of answer did you have in mind?

How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb?



Hmmm....let me run a few numbers and get back to you....

How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb?



Two. One to change it and one to make sure it was done within budget

And lastly, my favourite:

How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb?



One, but he'll have 1500 of them to do on 31st January.

(This response was suggested by Adrian Higgs)

Are you a prostitute or are you an auditor?

1. You work very odd hours.

2. You are paid a lot of money to keep your client happy.

3. You are paid well but your pimp gets most of the money.

4. You spend a majority of your time in a hotel room.

5. You charge by the hour but your time can be extended.

6. You are not proud of what you do.

7. Creating fantasies for your clients is rewarded.

8. It's difficult to have a family.

9. You have no job satisfaction.

10. If a client beats you up, the pimp just sends you to another client.

11. You are embarrassed to tell people what you do for a living.

12. People ask you, "What do you do?" and you can't explain it.

13. Your client pays for your hotel room plus your hourly rate.

14. Your client always wants to know how much you charge and what they get for the money.

15. Your pimp drives nice cars like Mercedes or Jaguars.

16. Your pimp encourages drinking and you become addicted to drugs to ease the pain of it all.

17. You know the pimp is charging more than you are worth but if the client…

When downsizing doesn't go quite as planned

The partners in a 20 strong accounting firm decided to downsize.
Half of the staff were duly handed their redundancy notices. The letters left them in no doubt the firm would be better off without them.

Selecting the half to make redundant had been a no-brainer for the partners: the firm was staffed by a mixture of very competent young people at various stages of training, and a motley crew of duffers who were mostly a waste of space. Some even had quirks that made them automatic choices: there was one guy who always arrived at the crack of dawn each morning - only to spend an hour on expensive sex chat-lines! And a twenty-something female who looked as though butter wouldn't melt, but was transformed into a door-slamming Banshee whenever told to go work on-site.

One of the staff who had been selected to stay, was recently qualified, and had just been head-hunted by his former mentor, a Big 4 Partner branching out with his own practice. Promoted to manager and charged with staffin…