Skip to main content

20 songs for accountants going on holiday

The following playlist is drawn from suggestions made by non-accountants on my facebook feed.
There's a distinct monetary theme but some inventive alternatives too.

  1. Money, that's what I want - Flying Lizards
  2. Leaving on a (budget-approved) Jet Plane- John Denver
  3. Ticket to Ride - A nice emailed copy for the accountants - The Beatles
  4. Do you know the way to (reclaim the cost of travel to) San Jose? - Dionne Warwick ACA
  5. The Balance - The Moody Blues
  6. Taxman - The Beatles
  7. Sunny Afternoon- The Kinks ("The taxman's taken all my dough, And left me in my stately home")
  8. We can work it out - The Beatles
  9. Money - Pink Floyd
  10. Colour by Numbers (album) - Culture Club
  11. Money's too tight to mention - Simply (in the) Red
  12. Money for Nothing - Dire Straits
  13. Get up (I feel like Being a Tax Machine) - James Brown ACA
  14. I can't get no tax-isfaction - The Rolling Stones
  15. The Final Countdown - Europe
  16. Chasing Payments - Adele
  17. Money money money - Abba
  18. (Making Tax) Digital - Joy Division
  19. Take the Money and Run - The Steve Miller Band
  20. Price tag - Jessie J
Plus two bonus tracks:
  • A song for January: Under Pressure - Queen
  • My favourite though, suggested by William Buist who knows I'm a bit of an acronymaniac, was: 24 hours to TULSA (Tally Up Long Standing Accounts). 
Many thanks to everyone who contributed to this list: Lee Hathaway, Kapil Kapur, Rod Sloane, Penny Haslam,  Mark Wingfield, Michelle Lubzianski, David Lewis, David Hyner, Andy Lopata, Shelley Bridgman, Cindy-Michelle Waterfield, Dave Sumner-Smith, Spyros Melaris, Andrew (Bernie) Bernard, William Buist.
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb?

How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb?




How many would you like it to be?

How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb?




What kind of answer did you have in mind?

How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb?



Hmmm....let me run a few numbers and get back to you....

How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb?



Two. One to change it and one to make sure it was done within budget

And lastly, my favourite:

How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb?



One, but he'll have 1500 of them to do on 31st January.

(This response was suggested by Adrian Higgs)

Are you a prostitute or are you an auditor?

1. You work very odd hours.

2. You are paid a lot of money to keep your client happy.

3. You are paid well but your pimp gets most of the money.

4. You spend a majority of your time in a hotel room.

5. You charge by the hour but your time can be extended.

6. You are not proud of what you do.

7. Creating fantasies for your clients is rewarded.

8. It's difficult to have a family.

9. You have no job satisfaction.

10. If a client beats you up, the pimp just sends you to another client.

11. You are embarrassed to tell people what you do for a living.

12. People ask you, "What do you do?" and you can't explain it.

13. Your client pays for your hotel room plus your hourly rate.

14. Your client always wants to know how much you charge and what they get for the money.

15. Your pimp drives nice cars like Mercedes or Jaguars.

16. Your pimp encourages drinking and you become addicted to drugs to ease the pain of it all.

17. You know the pimp is charging more than you are worth but if the client…

When downsizing doesn't go quite as planned

The partners in a 20 strong accounting firm decided to downsize.
Half of the staff were duly handed their redundancy notices. The letters left them in no doubt the firm would be better off without them.

Selecting the half to make redundant had been a no-brainer for the partners: the firm was staffed by a mixture of very competent young people at various stages of training, and a motley crew of duffers who were mostly a waste of space. Some even had quirks that made them automatic choices: there was one guy who always arrived at the crack of dawn each morning - only to spend an hour on expensive sex chat-lines! And a twenty-something female who looked as though butter wouldn't melt, but was transformed into a door-slamming Banshee whenever told to go work on-site.

One of the staff who had been selected to stay, was recently qualified, and had just been head-hunted by his former mentor, a Big 4 Partner branching out with his own practice. Promoted to manager and charged with staffin…