Friday, August 18, 2017

Financial one-liners

Comedian Samantha Baines at Edinburgh 2017: "I'm selling my old tennis equipment but I can't work out what's the net worth."

In a similar vein:


  • How does Santa's accountant value his sleigh? Net Present Value.
  • The most successful investor was Noah. He floated stock, while everything around him went into liquidation. 
  • I saw a bank that said it offered 24 Hour Banking. So I didn’t go in. I didn’t have that much time. 
  • A long term investment is a short term investment that failed.
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Five funny money and tax one-liners

“It’s tax time . I know this because I’m staring at documents that make no sense to me, no matter how many beers I drink” - Dave Barry “...