Friday, June 24, 2011

Are marketers smarter than accountants?

Three marketers and three accountants are travelling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three marketers buy only a single ticket.

"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an accountant.
"Watch and you'll see," answers a marketer.

They all board the train. The accountants take their respective seats but all three marketers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The accountants saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the accountants decided to copy the marketers on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all that).

When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the marketers don't buy a ticket at all.

"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed accountant. "Watch and you'll see," answers a marketer.

When they board the train, the three accountants cram into a restroom and the three marketers cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the marketers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the accountants are hiding.

He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please."

(I'm sure I've heard this joke before but it's not been on the blog, so thanks to Brian Cruickshank for sending it in).

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

I blame the Two Ronnies and not Monty Python

For years accountants have blamed an infamous Monty Python Sketch for suggesting accountants are boring. It seems The Two Ronnies were at it too....

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

How did Mercia start?

Mercia is one of the UK’s largest providers of training and support services to the accountancy profession. John Welsford, who was MD until June 2007 joined the company as its sole employee in 1982.

At the recent Mercia Partners' conference John was asked how he started Mercia. He explained that he hadn’t. Four firms of accountants had got together and employed John to go down to London to attend CPD conferences. In those days very few CPD courses took place around the UK. John was then required to come back ‘oop north’ to run the same courses for the founding firms' staff. They each paid 25% of his fees.

I wonder if anyone is doing much the same thing today?

Monday, June 13, 2011

How long do partners work?

Staff in accountancy firms aspire to be partners. One of the attractions is the ability to only work part days and to be your own boss. After all, you get to choose which 12 hours a day to work.

David Oliver, Insight Marketing, at Mercia Partners’ Conference.

Tuesday, June 07, 2011

For some people IFRS could be a good thing

(This cartoon first appeared in Taking Stock on AccountancyAge.com on 3 June 2011 under the heading: Colin: a tricky financial question)

Monday, June 06, 2011

How to simplify the PAYE system

I'm told that a Revenue official who wishes to remain anonymous has identified two key changes that would simplify our PAYE system and avoid most problems:
  1. Stop anyone from having more than one job at a time; and
  2. Only allow people to change jobs at midnight on 5 April each year.
No - I don't think they were serious.

Do you have any other ideas in a similar vein?

Friday, June 03, 2011

What does this acronym stand for? SCAM

The Scottish Institute of Chartered Accountants (ICAS) produce a computer-based audit training teaching resource. For reasons I cannot imagine it goes by the acronym SCAM.
It's accessible from the website www.scam-plc.co.uk (from where I have copied this image).

An example of Scottish Chartered Accountant Madness?