My Career Crossroads: CSE Grade 1 in Woodwork

Years after qualifying as a chartered accountant, I met a woodworker whose craftsmanship was beautiful to behold.

While admiring his dovetails, I mentioned, somewhat proudly, that, years earlier, I had secured a CSE Grade 1 in Woodwork. 

Back in the day, we were told that was equivalent to an O-Level. Big stuff. 

He raised an eyebrow. “I used to teach Design & Technology,” he said. 

I confessed I’d failed DT but clung to the woodwork win and still had the table I had made in the exam. By then though it was in the loft as my wife wasn't keen to have it out.

The craftsman asked if I had continued with my interest in woodwork.

I explained that I had not. Instead I went on to qualify as an accountant and that no one in the profession had ever seemed that interested in my CSE Grade 1 in Woodwork. 

Without missing a beat, he replied: “Shame. You could’ve made a beautiful abacus.” 

But the time had passed.

ps: I'm now wondering if it was purely a coincidence that the firm I trained with was called 'Wood & Co'.

Using an Eastenders plot line as a business analogy isn't ideal

Limited Liability Partnerships first became a reality in the UK as from 6 April 2001. That morning I was interviewed on Radio 5 live and then on BBC Breakfast TV where I was asked the inevitable question "So what exactly is an LLP?"

I'd anticipated this and had tested a number of simple explanations that might make sense to the man in the street. The principal point I wanted to get across was that the members of an LLP are not jointly and severally liable as are the partners in a conventional business partnership.

In the end though I chose an analogy involving the previous night's episode of the popular TV soap, Eastenders. Viewers had just found out 'Who shot Phil Mitchell'.

So I explained: Take Eastenders for example, If Steve, Dan, Ian, Mark and Lisa were in a business partnership they could all be sued even though only one of them had done something wrong - but if they were in business as an LLP, only Lisa who did the dirty deed, could be sued."

I recall that Sara Coburn, the interviewer, only just managed to retain her composure. She explained to the viewers that she had never expected to be discussing Eastenders during the Business section of the programme.

For my part I was just relieved that no one who saw the show pointed out the flaw in my analogy: Shooting Phil was a criminal act and partners are NOT jointly and severally liable in such cases!

2049 - A vision of the tax side of the accountancy profession

AccountancyAge kindly asked me to supply 100 words on what the tax profession might look like in 40 years time. They published my vision last week.

Imagine my surprise to note that the only other tax vision they published was that of Dave Hartnett who took the invitation a little more seriously than did I. Here's what I have forecast.

There will be only two remaining professional bodies for tax agents. Businesses
will tend to seek tax advice from registered accountants but private clients
will prefer registered tax advisers as tax is more important to them than
accountancy. Registered tax advisers will typically work alone or be employed by registered accountants, by lawyers or by big brands such as RAAC, Tescobury, InsurancesDirect, The National Bank or The European Public Library and Computer Service. All registered tax advisers will have a revenue officer liaison opposite (ROLO) as their direct contact point in His Majesty’s Revenue Collection Service.

What do you think?

Dave Hartnett thinks accountants can't count - and it's my fault

I'd better come clean.

At the ICAEW Tax Faculty AGM yesterday the pre-lunch guest speaker was Dave Hartnett, Permanent Secretary for Tax. During his opening few words he explained how much he enjoys being in the Institute's Great Hall as he always remembers what happened when he was opposing the motion at the Wyman Debate in 2003.

I was Chairman of the Faculty at the time and therefore chaired the event. The motion under debate was:

This House believes that tax is not a moral issue – it’s purely a matter of law

With help from Tax Faculty staff we took a show of hands at the start and then again at the end to assess whether the debate had impacted the views of those present.

If memory serves the majority of hands at the outset supported the motion. By the end of the debate however there had been a shift and I think I called it a draw. Dave was convinced that a majority now opposed the motion. Thus his view that I (and therefore other accountants) can't count. Six years down the line and he still won't let me forget it ;-(

I apologise and would simply note that at least I'm no longer in practice!

Not another boring accountant (part two)

I explained how and why I came to appear on Newsnight in a previous posting.

My actual TV slot comprised a very short magic trick (the self assessment pom pom stick) followed by me entering into the spirit of things, by being shown 'magically' changing from one outfit to another.. The idea was to provide examples to match the voice over - If not a magician then what next for the chartered accountant in films? So, through the wonders of television, as they say, they showed me magically transforming into a mad scientist then a James Bond style secret agent and finally a gumshoe detective.

At the end I recall Peter Snow, who hadn't seen what we filmed, started his subsequent interview by saying. Of course, not all accountants are as entertaining as Mark Lee. How kind!