Dodgy excuses for late filings in 2021

With the tax return filing deadline looming clients should be discouraged from trying any of these excuses for late filings:

1. My tax return is shielding
2. I had to travel to Barnard Castle to check my eye sight before I could read and complete the forms
3. I voted 'Leave' , which includes leaving having to pay taxes
4. I don't believe taxes exist they are a hoax
5. Under the latest regulations travelling to my computer isn't allowed

Ten tax return filing deadline related fun tweets

When you have to face time your 12 year old daughter and talk her through filing your last 3 tax returns ❄️🙅‍♀️💃🏻#lifesaver [alongside a picture implying the tweeter was snowbound]
@FigureFairy_

HMRC should have a prize for those who fill out their tax returns with the least amount of time to spare before the deadline. I think I could be in with a chance of winning that.
@CraigPaton

Once upon a time... there were 12 hours remaining until the #selfassessment deadline! 🕛 We know it's #NationalStorytellingWeek, but don't be left coming up with a tall tale to tell #HMRC! 📚 Guarantee a happy ending by filing your return and paying the #tax you owe on time!
@georgehayca

Ten months you've had To get it done
For a hundred pounds Are you now to succumb?
 Submit your return! Just get it in And don't forget too
For the good of us all Pay the tax that you owe
Or the Collector will call!
@BritTwitPoet

Guys, don't leave paying your tax to 11pm on 31st. Especially if you need to set them up on your banking. I'm not a expert on every banks payment system so I might struggle to help
@ataccounting

So long January - let the New Year begin!! #happynewaccountantsyear
@wbs_accountants

Did mine this afternoon when the last ones went out for authorisation. Filed about 10 hours before deadline, longest it's been in years 😂
@ataccounting

Returns filed, chocolate digestives all gone and it has started snowing. Time for a glass of vino I'd say.
@paulaplinontax

It’s February which means one thing...another tax return season completed! We did it! — feeling accomplished
@howlettaccounts

Shhhh!!!! February 1st. Accountants sleep now
@ataccounting

A new supplementary page for SA tax returns: Application for Mercy

Original is on the clever and fun official looking (but fake) website promoting a book published by Ian Vince:The Department of Social Scrutiny

HMRC's lists of worst excuses for late filed tax returns

Each January HMRC release a list which gets wide publicity and nudges late filers to get their tax returns submitted before the filing deadline at the end of the month.

In 2015 the list they released comprised:

My pet dog ate my tax return…and all the reminders.

I was up a mountain in Wales, and couldn’t find a postbox or get an internet signal.

I fell in with the wrong crowd.

I’ve been travelling the world, trying to escape from a foreign intelligence agency.

Barack Obama is in charge of my finances.

I’ve been busy looking after a flock of escaped parrots and some fox cubs.

A work colleague borrowed my tax return, to photocopy it, and didn’t give it back.

I live in a camper van in a supermarket car park.

My girlfriend’s pregnant.

I was in Australia

In 2016, a new list was released, and is just as bad:

1. My tax papers were left in the shed and the rat ate them 
2. I’m not a paperwork orientated person
3. I always relied on my sister to complete my returns but we have now fallen out 
4. My accountant has been ill 
5. My dog ate my tax return 
6. I will be abroad on deadline day with no internet access so will be unable to file 
7. My laptop broke, so did my washing machine 
8. My niece had moved in – she made the house so untidy I could not find my log in details to complete my return online 
9. My husband ran over my laptop 
10. I had an argument with my wife and went to Italy for 5 years 
11. I had a cold which took a long time to go

The list released in 2014 is on this blog here>>>

Hugh's new client

The following story comes from long-time subscriber to my newsletters and blog posts, Hugh Dunlop.

Hugh is a practicing accountant who is close to retirement in Scotland. He tells of a self employed person who came to him a couple of years ago to file the SA100 tax return.

As it was the first year of the business and he had previously been employed under PAYE I was able to get him a tidy tax rebate. 

In 2014 I told him that he had made a profit just under the personal allowance and as a result he would have no tax to pay. The reply was 'Does that mean I won't get a tax rebate again?' I said that as he had not paid any tax he could not get one. 'OH. Does that mean I won't have to pay you?'

Some clients just don't get it do they?

Fantasy tax simplification

The biggest laugh at last night's CTA Address came in response to a question from the floor.

The question was related to a point the speaker, Andrew Tyrie*, had made about the need for the tax system to be made simpler. He had also stressed, as others have done for many years, that this will only really happen when Ministers are really motivated to change the system.

Question:
What if, all Ministers and members of the Treasury Select Committee were obliged to complete their own self assessment tax returns using only HMRC's online facilities.........and limited solely to the support available from HMRC's telephone helpline?

Cue - knowing laughter from the 200+ Chartered Tax Advisers and Accountants in the audience.

*Andrew Tyrie MP, Chairman of the House of Commons Treasury Select Committee

The client accountants love to hate

"Hello Accounts Lady"
"Nemi?" "I'm busy, what are you doing here?"
I just wanted to say 'Hi'

"And?"
"And that I've brought my accounts for 2009."
"Good"

"Here they are. Must dash!"

Nemi by Lise appears in The Metro. This cartoon published 26 October 2010

Revenue fine man re his involvement with Moira Stuart

This was posted on the News Biscuit site - which covers the "The news before it happens"!

"She’s been in there so long I completely forget to include her in my self-assessment form," said Mr Chesney Benson, of Hunstanton. "Of course I now realise that I should have declared her, but she’s so quiet, hidden away in the cupboard. I barely know she’s there. I only ever see her when I get the Hoover out."

"We get a lot of people forgetting to declare Moira Stuart," said an HMRC representative, "but any income gained from having a newscaster living in the house is, of course, liable to tax."

This year HMRC are believed to be cracking down heavily on people failing to declare live-in newscasters. "Of course there are some grey areas," said Radio 4’s Money Box presenter, Vincent Duggleby, "For example, a lot of people are claiming that having Natasha Kaplinsky in the house doesn’t count because she’s not a proper newsreader. The jury is still out on that one."

"I never had this trouble with Adam Hart Davis," said Mr Benson, "When he was living with me, you always knew he was there, making a nuisance of himself, cycling round and round the living room in his Day-Glo pants telling me to fill in my form. They say tax doesn’t have to be taxing but he certainly was."

People still have until 31st January to file their Self-Assessment online. However, the HMRC say that if they have any suspicions they will be sending round a tax inspector to check under the stairs.

Black Books - Cooking the Books

I've only recently heard of the Black Books 'sit com' that was first broadcast almost 8 years ago in September 2000.

In the first episode we are introduced to Bernard, the alcoholic Irish book shop owner. But, Bernard has a problem. His taxes need doing, he's mathematically illiterate, and there's no avoiding it.

Here's a short (100 second) extract where Bernard attempts to complete his self assessment tax return without any help:



If you want the full 5 minute clip, it's worth it for the other things he does to avoid doing his tax return and especially for the final 10 seconds.