Songs that might have been about tax avoidance

Maybe these were the original titles of popular songs:

• April 6th Showers 
• Savin' All My Tax For Me 
• VAT's love got to do with it? 
• H.M.R.C (to the tune of Y.M.C.A) 
• God Rest PAYE Merry Gentlemen 
• TAX! Who is it good for? Absolutely not me! 
• Cayman Feel The Noize 
• BVI, I, I, Delilah 
• Big yellow tax dodge 
• Ferry Cost To Jersey 
• Strangers on the offshore 
• The loot of love 
• Wake me up before Monaco-go 
• I'll be Revenue in all the old familiar places
• Like a VAT outa Hell 
• VAT's the way uh-huh uh-huh I like it 
• Greedy Woman by Roy Orbison 
• I want it tax free - by Queen 
• Hello, is it me money you're looking for? 
• I'd do anything for love (but I won't pay tax) 
• The Long and Winding Fraud 
• Save your tax exemptions for me - by the Brotherhood of (the Isle of) Man 
• Got to get you into my life (so I can claim the relevant deductions) 
• Leaving on a Jet Plane - having paid no VAT on it 
• My Tax Breaks bring all the rich to the yard 
• I'm going to Barbados 
• Tax haven is a place on earth 
• With a Little Help From My Tax Avoidance Friends 
• Tax'll be the day 
• I hid it my way 
• 'Cos I Am a Rich Man

Why people engage accountants....

Why people engage accountants....

HMRC: You owe us money. It's called taxes.

YOU: How much do I owe?

HMRC: You have to figure that out.

YOU: I can just pay what I want?

HMRC: Oh, no. We can guess how much you owe. But you need to guess it first. Or work it out properly - which we prefer.

YOU: What if I get it wrong?

HMRC: We'll fine you or send you to prison!

YOU: I need help!!

Taxing the Toffs

In light of current disputes as to who warrants being ennobled, I am reminded of a suggestion I heard in 2008.

A progressive system should be based on taxation. Acceptance of a title such as a peerage might command a 10 per cent surcharge on the higher rate of tax.

Lesser honours might command a lower rate of tax.

Honours would remain accessible to all in society but only funded by those who passed a certain financial threshold.

This annual “toff tax” would be a lucrative way for the state (not the party) to collect revenue to fund the political infrastructure we demand but will not fund ourselves.

It will also allow those honoured to proclaim publicly their loyalty to the nation that honours them.

Extract from a letter on 17 May 2008 letters page of the FT sent in by James Brooke Turner, London SW2 3TA

Why it's best to ski with accountants...

Why is it best to ski with accountants?

Becuase there's safety in numbers.