Before PwC, before Coopers & Lybrand, there was Cooper Brothers.....

Long before the merger of Coopers and Lybrand and Price Waterhouse created the firm we now know as PwC,  Coopers was originally called Cooper Brothers.

The firm was originally based in Gutter Lane, London. Indeed they may have been the only building with an address identified as being in Gutter Lane.

Legend has it that at one stage the partners wrote to the Corporation of London suggesting that in view of their long tenancy it might be appropriate to rename the place Coopers Lane.

The Corporation, so the story goes, wrote back saying "as we've been here longer why don't you change your name to Gutter Brothers."

Post script: I was told a while back that when, much more recently, the Corporation was selling off at auction the old City street signs, Coopers & Lybrand bought the Gutter Lane set.

This is how accountants could be seen by the world at large. If only.

Accountants wearing pink?
Accountants in lime green?
Accountants at the cutting edge of every fashion scene?

Accountants telling jokes?
Accountants getting laughs?
Accountants being popular and signing autographs?

Accountant boy and girl bands, in at number one?
Accountants on Big Brother, providing all the fun?

Accountants chased by groupies, who get down on their knees…
Accountants in a different world – a world without John Cleese!

Thank you Sean Kelly

Bizarre excuses for late filing of company accounts

Each year Companies House receives unusual excuses from directors who fail to file their company accounts on time.

They report that some of the most outrageous reasons given include:

• “goats ate my accounts”
• “I found my wife in the bath with my accountant”
• “pirates stole my accounts”
• “we delivered the accounts to the betting office next door to Companies House”
• “a volcano erupted and prevented me from filing”
• “slugs ate my accounts”
• “it was Valentine’s Day”
• “my company was more successful than I thought it would be, so I was too busy to file”

What trainee auditors are thinking about

“Will the busy season ever bloody end?”
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“i want to find fraud so bad!”
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“Why can’t we do a sample of the sample?”
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I'm picking up breakfast for the team and my dad is like "I'm glad you got your degree to work for deliveroo."
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“All I had to eat today was coffee and excel.”
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"I claimed during busy season I owned a dog so I would be allowed to work from home in the evenings to 'walk it.' If anyone asked, I'd show them pictures of my friend's dog."
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"I might look for volunteering where I can do stuff outside - like plant trees or something. I miss sunlight."
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"My dad always forgets I work at Deloitte so he always asks how work is going at Detroit."
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"If i had a dollar for every time someone asked me how studying for the accountancy exams is going, I would have enough money to retire and wouldn't even have to take the exams."
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Staff 1: I gotta give a presentation in the morning. Staff 2: On what? Staff 1: "Something interesting from our internship." So i did how to live out of a hotel.
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“I don’t understand why some people need to do FIFO instead of LIFO in the elevator.”
--

Originally collated and shared on the twitter account @overheardaudit

Would you ever admit this to a Tax Tribunal?

Years ago I was told the story of an accountant who took an appeal to the Tribunal on the basis that there were undisclosed mitigating circumstances which would exonerate his client.

When it came to the hearing he stood up and declared his client was entirely blameless because, as he was willing to admit to the Tribunal, he was a pretty rubbish accountant and had let his client down badly.

Under the rules as they then stood, this may well have been accepted as a 'reasonable excuse' as long as the accountant could also show that the client had good reason for assuming the accountant was up to the job.

I didn't hear what the Tribunal decided but it just goes to show that whatever mistakes you might make..... there always worse accountants out there!

Accountant's survival kit

You can buy these online - containing a mix of any or all of the following:

Boiled sweets - to crunch and give you energy to crunch the numbers
Piece of string - to help you tie up loose ends
Ace of Spades - so you can make the most of any hand you are dealt
Tea bag - for when you get into hot water
Safety pin - to help you pin point problems areas
Paper clip - to help you hold it all together
Marbles - to replace the ones you will lose
Rubber band - to remind you to be flexible about things
Mint - so you will always have a fresh outlook
Candle - for when you're burning the midnight oil
Matches - for the candle
Googly eyes - to help you spot any mistakes
Balloon - to remind you to always reach for the sky
Button - for those times you may need to button your lip
Needle and thread - for the button
Hair grip - for when you need to get a grip
Soft drink in a can - to have a drink on me at the end of a long day

A tall tale told to a taxman?

A tax inspector arrived at the front door of a magnificent 8 bedroom mansion in the depths of the countryside.

"How have you managed to buy this luxurious mansion whilst your income is so low?" he asked the market trader who lived there.

"Well" replied the trader, "When I was fishing last year, I caught a golden fish. When I took it off the hook the fish looked at me and spoke. It said: 'I am a magic golden fish. Throw me back in the water and I'll give you the most luxurious mansion you have ever seen.' I threw the fish back into the water and got the mansion."

The tax inspector looked at the trader suspiciously. "And what proof do you have, to convince me that this preposterous story is true?"

"Well, you can see the mansion can't you?"