What is an ACCOUNTANT?

An ACCOUNTANT is someone who:

Analyses figures 

Calculates calmly 

Counsels clients 

Organises chaos 

Unlocks understanding 

Navigates numbers 

Tames tax 

Avoids assumptions 

Nurtures trust 

Transforms businesses

5 new acronyms for accountants

I'm a bit of an acronymaniac. Here are some that might be useful for accountants.

AFLO 
We've all had them. Challenges or things that don't go as we hoped. We might smack our forehead in frustration. Maybe January was an AFLO for you this year. Another Flipping Learning Opportunity!

TIOLI 
Maybe this is your approach when talking with clients about your service offerings: Take It Or Leave It

DARE
An approach to following up after attending networking events: Deliberate Acts of Relationship Enhancement.

HIPPO
Another way of explaining why the senior partner gets the last word. It's because it's the Highest Paid Person's Opinion.

GLIBO
What you might think of these acronyms. They offer a GLIBO: Glimse of the Bleeding Obvious

5 new accounting related acronyms you'll never use

ACCOUNTS – Always Chasing Clients, Often Underpaid, Never Taking Sabbaticals 

RECAP – Routinely Explaining Concepts Again Patiently

RECEIPTS – Random Envelopes Containing Evidence In Perpetual Tattered Shape

TARDIS – Time Allocation Rarely Delivers Income Sadly (How it feels quoting fixed fees for 'quick' jobs.)

P&L – Panic & Last-minute (The only true accounting method for sole traders at year-end.)

Acronyms for different client types

• DINKYs - Dual Income, No Kids Yet
• DONKEYs - Dual Overdraft, No Kids Yet
• MINKs - Multiple Income, No Kids
• OPALs - Older People, Active Lifestyle
• SWELL - Single Woman Earning Lots in London
• SEMI - Suburban Executive MIddle manager
• MACs - Married And Comfortable
• SITCOM - Single Income, Two Children, Outrageous Mortgage
• LOMBARD - Lots Of Money But A Right Dope
• SMARTIEs - Smart, Middle Aged, Risk Taking Individuals
• PIPPies - People who Inherited Parents' Properties
• WOOPies - Well Off Older People
• FIZZ - Financially Independent, Zero Zeal, 
• CHEERS - Couples Having Excessive Expenses, Really Splurging 
• WITTY - Well-Invested, Thrifty, and Totally Young-at-heart 
• CHARMs - Couples Happily Avoiding Real Money 
• PAMPERs - Professionals Accumulating Money, Planning Exotic Retreats

New acronyms for accountants

I'm a bit of an acronymaniac. Here are some that might be useful for accountants.

AFLO 
We've all had them. Challenges or things that don't go as we hoped. We might smack our forehead in frustration. Maybe January was an AFLO for you this year. Another Flipping Learning Opportunity!

TIOLI 
Maybe this is your approach when talking with clients about your service offerings: Take It Or Leave It

DARE
An approach to following up after attending networking events: Deliberate Acts of Relationship Enhancement.

HIPPO
Another way of explaining why the senior partner gets the last word. It's because it's the Highest Paid Person's Opinion.

GLIBO
What you might think of these acronyms. They offer a GLIBO: Glimse of the Bleeding Obvious

GAAP - Are you sure you know what it means?

 Strictly speaking GAAP stands for Generally Accepted Accounting Principles but I prefer the suggestion that GAAP is the difference between accounting theory and accounting practice.

Or could it stand for one of the following?

Greatly Anticipated Auditing Performance
or
Grossly Aggressive Accountant's Punches
or
Gently Activating Accountant's Pencil
or
Generally Accidental Accounting Practices

Can you suggest any others?

An acronym that didn't catch on

Following the merger of the Inland Revenue and Customs & Excise in 2005 we should be used to references to Officers of Revenue and Customs. Surprisingly though no one ever referneicnes them using the releated acronym ORCs. Taking this a step further, when we talk about ORCs using their powers, we could use the acronym: PORCS This could lead to ORCs using their PORCs to identify when taxpayers have told Porkies. Shame it didn't cvatch on!

Imaginary explanations of financial related acronyms

• DEBITS = Desperate Executives Broken by Insider Trading
• EBITDA = Earnings Before I Tricked the Dumb Auditor
• EBIT = Earnings Before Irregularities and Tampering
• LOMBARD = Lots Of Money But A Right Dick
• CEO = Chief Embezzlement Officer
• CFO = Corporate Fraud Officer
• NABRO = Not Another Bloody Regulatory Organisation 
• NAV = Normal Andersen Valuation
• EPS = Eventual Prison Sentence
• FRS = Fantasy Reporting Standards
• P/E = Parole Entitlement
• FIMBRA = Federation of Investment Malpractitioners and Big-time Rip-off Artists
• ISA = Interesting Savings Alternative
• ASB = Adding-up Silly Balances

Any more?

Texting abbreviations used by Accountants

LOL = Lots Of Ledgers

TIA = Taxes In Action

WAYF = Where Are Your Files

CRM = Client Rates Me

BRB = Brilliantly Reconciled Bank

FTW = Fin-Tech Wizards

ROFL = reporting on financials live

LMAO = loving my accounting online

IMHO = invoicing my heart out

BFF = bank feeds’r fast

WTF = wicked tax filing