What do the letters HMRC really stand for?

 In the UK we recognise 'HMRC' as standing for Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs - the body created by the merger of Inland Revenue and HM Customs and Excise in 2005.

What else might the letters represent?  Officially the answers are:

• Health Management Research Center (University of Michigan) 
• Human Mobility Research Centre (Queen’s University and Kingston General Hospital partnership; Ontario, Canada) 
• Helicopter Multi-Role Computer 
• Hierarchical Maximal Ratio Combining 
• His Majesty's Royal Communications (Jordan)

But let's be more inventive: 

• Help Me Recover Cash
  Hiding My Rewards Carefully
• Holding My Rewards Callously
• How Might Rhianna Cover-up?
• Hold My Rubber Chicken

Can you do better?

Paying tax with a smile

At the end of a serious tax investigation, the Inspector of Taxes announced that the taxpayer owed over £10,000.  The Inspector continued: "You know, paying tax is your civic duty and you should be proud to do what's right. I'd like to see you settle your liability with a smile."

To which the recalcitrant taxpayer replied: "Thank God. I thought you'd want money."

Thanks to Mike Thexton for this old joke.

Clever accounting by children (1)

This may be an apocryphal story relating back to the childhood of an unnamed top accountant. 

She explains that as a young child she played a game with her parents' friends whenever they came to visit. 

Apparently they found it hugely entertaining that, when offered a choice between a 50p coin and a pound coin she always took the 50p coin. 

One day, her grandfather saw this happening and called her over to explain things: "You must understand, a pound coin is twice as valuable as a 50p piece, so you should always choose the pound coin." 

The future top accountant replied: "But Grandpa, then people will not offer me any money."

Great T-shirt slogans for accountants

• My Daddy is the best accountant in the whole world 
• The Zen of accounting - for every debit there is a credit 
• Trust me - I'm an accountant 
• Accountants appreciate a good figure 
• I love my accountant 
• I live for accounting 
• I'm the accountant your mother warned you about 
• Future accountant [for a baby's t-shirt!] 
• Accountants rock 
• Proud parent of an accountant 
• Accounting diva [in pink] 
• It's accrual world 
• Daddy's little tax deduction [for a baby's t-shirt!] 
• Mild mannered accountant by day. Sexy husband by night 
• Accountant on the outside. Biker on the inside 
• Beancounter university [in the style of a top Uni] 
• The world's best accountant 
• A good accountant is a debit to her profession 
• I love Chartered Accountants