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Showing posts from April, 2014

10 things a good accountant would never say....

Yes, my fees could be lower if you pay me in cash I'll find a way to justify all those supermarket receipts in your accounts Sure you can pay me less because you ignored my advice on how to make more profits HMRC have no problem with retrospective tax planingYour tax return only took me 5 minutes to do I love working from carrier bags full of clients' paperworkI have decided not to charge you anything this year The taxman will give up once he knows I'm representing youDon't worry about getting receipts Yes, we can rewrite the past and pretend you did things that you didn't really do Any more for any more? What else would you never say?

What it takes to become a professional accountant

Every now and then I come across a US video about accountants that I feel fits on this site. I've just become aware of the CPA 2014 Rule the Tube video competition and one of the finalist videos made me really smile. Hope you like it too.

Tax evasion excuses that don't work: The magic golden fish

A tax inspector arrived at the front door of a magnificent 8 bedroom mansion in the depths of the countryside.

"How have you managed to buy this luxurious mansion whilst your income is so low?" he asked the market trader who lived there.

"Well" replied the trader, "When I was fishing last year, I caught a golden fish. When I took it off the hook the fish looked at me and spoke. It said: 'I am a magic golden fish. Throw me back in the water and I'll give you the most luxurious mansion you have ever seen.' I threw the fish back into the water and got the mansion."

The tax inspector looked at the trader suspiciously. "And what proof do you have, to convince me that this preposterous story is true?"

"Well, you can see the mansion can't you?"