How to reduce a client's tax bill

Conversation with a client...

Me: "You've made a taxable profit for the year of £25,000. This means a corporation tax liability of £4,750."

Client: "Is there any way to eliminate the tax bill completely? My mate down the pub said his accountant sorted it so he didn't have to pay any tax."

Me: 🤔 "Well, you could agree to pay me £25,000 in accountancy fees, then your taxable profit will be NIL. NIL profit = NIL tax 

Disclaimer: Whilst this is factually correct, it is not how I do business (duh! 🤣)

BTW The client knew I was joking!

As told by Accountant Nicola J Sorrell on Linkedin

Why people engage an accountant...

 Why people engage an accountant....

HMRC: You owe us money. It's called taxes.

YOU: How much do I owe?

HMRC: You have to figure that out.

YOU: I can just pay what I want?

HMRC: Oh, no. We can guess how much you owe. But you need to guess it first. Or work it out properly - which we prefer.

YOU: What if I get it wrong?

HMRC: We'll fine you or send you to prison!

YOU: I need help!!

What does 'certified' copies mean?

Accountants frequently ask new clients to either bring their passport into the office or to supply certified copies. It's a requirement of the anti-money laundering regulations.

An accountant told me recently that a new client recently sent him a package. 

On opening it the accountant found a copy of the client's passport. What else? 

Another one. Same as the first. 

And another, and another. 

Indeed the package simply contained almost 3 dozen photocopies of the client's passport. 

None had been certified by a solicitor - or anyone.

The accountant called the client to acknowledge receipt of the package and to find out why he had sent so many copies - and not had any of them certified.

The client was pleased to hear the package had arrived safely.

"But I still don't know why you asked for 35 copies."

For every tax problem...

 For every tax problem there is a solution - which is straightforward, uncomplicated and wrong.