Friday, June 24, 2016

New style acronyms for accountants


YAPAs - Young Ambitious Professional Accountants

EWES - Experts With Expensive Style

TAPAS - Top Accountants Planning Awesome Setoffs

MAGIC - Masterful Accountants Generating Instant Credits

TRICKs - Tax Returns that Interest Cute Kittens

CARDS - Clever Accountants Reading Dull Standards

PAULA - People Against the Use of Lousy Acronyms

Friday, June 03, 2016

Stand Up comedian reveals why he gave up accountancy

Indian comedian Kunal Rao starts his set by explaining why he gave up chartered accountancy.


He moves onto other topics after 2 minutes.

Saturday, May 28, 2016

Outrageous late payment excuses

This only has a tangential connection with accountancy but still feels worth sharing here. Drawn from a survey conducted by FreeAgent and summarised on AccountingWeb:

  • Can I just buy you a pint and call it quits?
  • Our chief executive is still on his sailing holiday
  • I have been in hospital for 2 weeks to have my tonsils taken out (they hadn’t)
  • My cat is sick
  • My dog ate your invoice
  • Your invoice was unethical
  • I have no money left, but you’ll get what you’re owed if you work on my new project. And move with me to Qatar.
  • You didn’t chase me enough for payment
  • (to a professional photographer) The photograph you took is of me, so I don’t need to pay you
  • I referred you to a friend, so I thought that would mean you wouldn't charge me
Any more?

Friday, May 20, 2016

There are only two types of accountants in the world....

There are more than two types of aphorisms along these lines. Here are some of my faves. Any more?

There are only three types of accountants in the world....
....Those who can count and those who can't.

There are only 10 types of accountants in the world....
.... Those who understand binary and those who don't

There are only two types of accountants in the world....
....Those who walk into a room and say, ‘There you are!’ – and those who say, ‘Here I am!’ ”  (original credited to Abigail Van Buren)

There are only two types of accountants in the world....
.....Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data



Friday, May 06, 2016

What might GAAP stand for?

Strictly speaking GAAP stands for Generally Accepted Accounting Principles but I prefer the suggestion that GAAP is the difference between accounting theory and accounting practice.

Or could it stand for one of the following?

Greatly Anticipated Auditing Performance
or
Grossly Aggressive Accountant's Punches
or
Gently Activating Accountant's Pencil
or
Generally Accidental Accounting Practices

Can you suggest any others?

Friday, April 29, 2016

Does an FD need to keep a close touch on everything?


A UK based Finance Director once reported that he had realised all was not well when he discovered that the company's BMW was actually in Madrid and being used by a prostitute.

Apparently this led to the FD's realisation that the company was not totally committed to traditional corporate governance.