"Britain will have the simplest VAT in Europe"
- then Chancellor of the Exchequer - Anthony Barber, 1972
"I'm a stickler for tidiness in the office"
- Secretary to tax avoider extraordinaire, Roy Tucker, explaining to the Court why she had thrown away his diaries, 1980
"If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, then it's a duck"
- Sir David Tweedie, when chief of the Accounting Standards Board, explaining the difference between debt and equity, 1993
‘Those of you who have read the standard on financial instruments (IAS39) and understood it have not read it properly."
- Sir David Tweedie again, as Chairman of the IASB, delivering a speech at the London Business School, 2005
"The safest job in the city is Accountancy"
- Headline in Accountancy Age, 1976
"I don't have any use for bodyguards, but I do have a specific use for two highly trained certified public accountants."
- Elvis Presley
"My money goes to my agent, then to my accountant and from him to the tax man. "
- Glenda Jackson
"People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant. "
- Ellen DeGeneres