Monday, October 29, 2007

T-shirts for accountants

It's hard to believe but I've found a website containing HUNDREDS of t-shirts with accountant slogans on them. Here's just a few of them:
  • During the day I dress up as an accountant
  • My Daddy is the best accountant in the whole world
  • The Zen of accounting - for every debit there is a credit
  • Trust me - I'm an accountant
  • Accountants appreciate a good figure
  • I love my accountant
  • I live for accounting
  • I'm the accountant your mother warned you about
  • Future accountant [for a baby's t-shirt!]
  • Accountants rock
  • I'm billing you for reading this
  • Proud parent of an accountant
  • Accounting diva [in pink]
  • It's accrual world
  • Daddy's little tax deduction [for a baby's t-shirt!]
  • Have you hugged an accountant today
  • Mild mannered accountant by day. Sexy husband by night
  • Accountant on the outside. Biker on the inside
  • Beancounter university [in the style of a top Uni]
  • The world's best accountant
  • A good accountant is a debit to her profession
  • I love Chartered Accountants

And so on!!

Sunday, October 21, 2007

A taxman and an accountant were having a discussion

They were arguing over who had the more noble profession and agreed it was whichever had been around the longest.

The accountant, convinced he'd won, quoted the bible. Even before God created Adam he created an orderly universe from chaos. An orderly universe implied the involvement of accountants to monitor and keep track of developments. By definition some of the angels must have been accountants. There were no taxes so no tax inspectors around that early in human history.

The tax inspector wasn't beaten. He listened patiently and then simply said: "Who do you think created the chaos?"

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Pre Nuptial agreement for trainee accountants

A summary of the first few questions asked:
1- Who gets custody of the calculator?
2- Who gets first use of the calculator?
3- What Accounting practice are we going to work for?
4- What are we going to be, Accountants or Auditors?
5- or for the more adventurous… Who's going to be the Accountant and who's going to be the Auditor? (This type of marriage is a 'separate bedroom job')

Friday, October 12, 2007

A little dated but new to me anyway

Definition of an Accountant....A walking, talking calculator

Definition of a very expensive calculator… anything that moves at any of the big four firms of accountants

Enron, WorldCom and Parma lat… The Accounting Profession's version of the old adage 'waiting ages for a bus and 3 turn up at once'

Little Girl (pre nursery) to her Mummy after hearing about the Enron, WorldCom and Parmalat shenanigans…Mummy, Mummy, I wanna be an accountant... hush, hush little one, go over there and play with your calculator

Same little girl to her mummy…. Mummy if I play with my calculator will I become an accountant …with plenty of practice you might do

What's the 1st entry on every accountant's birthday/Christmas prezzie wish list…? A new calculator

The same little girl to her mummy… Mummy, mummy…I've had plenty of practice on my calculator… can I work for PWCLittle one, you'll have to wait a few years, I'm not sure if they are hiring straight from pre nursery… I'll tell you what though, I'll get your father to draw up a professional looking certificate saying that you're a qualified calculator user, I'll send that off to PWC… and we'll see what they say

The journalist, the engineer, the lawyer and the accountant

A businessman was interviewing applicants for the position of Divisional Manager. He devised a simple test to select the most suitable perso...