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Showing posts from October, 2007

T-shirts for accountants

It's hard to believe but I've found a website containing HUNDREDS of t-shirts with accountant slogans on them. Here's just a few of them:
During the day I dress up as an accountantMy Daddy is the best accountant in the whole worldThe Zen of accounting - for every debit there is a creditTrust me - I'm an accountantAccountants appreciate a good figureI love my accountantI live for accountingI'm the accountant your mother warned you aboutFuture accountant [for a baby's t-shirt!]Accountants rockI'm billing you for reading thisProud parent of an accountantAccounting diva [in pink]It's accrual worldDaddy's little tax deduction [for a baby's t-shirt!]Have you hugged an accountant todayMild mannered accountant by day. Sexy husband by nightAccountant on the outside. Biker on the insideBeancounter university [in the style of a top Uni]The world's best accountantA good accountant is a debit to her professionI love Chartered Accountants
And so on!!

A taxman and an accountant were having a discussion

They were arguing over who had the more noble profession and agreed it was whichever had been around the longest.

The accountant, convinced he'd won, quoted the bible. Even before God created Adam he created an orderly universe from chaos. An orderly universe implied the involvement of accountants to monitor and keep track of developments. By definition some of the angels must have been accountants. There were no taxes so no tax inspectors around that early in human history.

The tax inspector wasn't beaten. He listened patiently and then simply said: "Who do you think created the chaos?"

Pre Nuptial agreement for trainee accountants

A summary of the first few questions asked:
1- Who gets custody of the calculator?
2- Who gets first use of the calculator?
3- What Accounting practice are we going to work for?
4- What are we going to be, Accountants or Auditors?
5- or for the more adventurous… Who's going to be the Accountant and who's going to be the Auditor? (This type of marriage is a 'separate bedroom job')

A little dated but new to me anyway

Definition of an Accountant....A walking, talking calculator

Definition of a very expensive calculator… anything that moves at any of the big four firms of accountants

Enron, WorldCom and Parma lat… The Accounting Profession's version of the old adage 'waiting ages for a bus and 3 turn up at once'

Little Girl (pre nursery) to her Mummy after hearing about the Enron, WorldCom and Parmalat shenanigans…Mummy, Mummy, I wanna be an accountant... hush, hush little one, go over there and play with your calculator

Same little girl to her mummy…. Mummy if I play with my calculator will I become an accountant …with plenty of practice you might do

What's the 1st entry on every accountant's birthday/Christmas prezzie wish list…? A new calculator

The same little girl to her mummy… Mummy, mummy…I've had plenty of practice on my calculator… can I work for PWC… Little one, you'll have to wait a few years, I'm not sure if they are hiring straight from pre nursery… I'…