Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Do you know an Accountant PUPPY?

In a poll for phoneline 118118, over 80% of young professionals said their mother's advice had more impact than getting a bonus, better hours or job security.

It calls each of them a PUPPY.
(Professional yet Unprepared Person Post-Youth)

Friday, February 22, 2008

Is this the way to do an audit?

Spoof of the Peter Kay version of the Tony Christie Classic. Includes a number of novel rhymes and a bunch of methodologists from PwC. Methinks it may not be an officially sponsored film. Watch out for the robotic antics of the last guy through the swipe gates just before the end.

Monday, February 18, 2008

The magic golden fish

A tax inspector arrived at the front door of a magnificent 8 bedroom mansion in the depths of the countryside.

"How have you managed to buy this luxurious mansion whilst your income is so low?" he asked the market trader who lived there.

"Well" replied the trader, "When I was fishing last year, I caught a golden fish. When I took it off the hook the fish looked at me and spoke. It said: 'I am a magic golden fish. Throw me back in the water and I'll give you the most luxurious mansion you have ever seen.' I threw the fish back into the water and got the mansion."

The tax inspector looked at the trader suspiciously. "And what proof do you have, to convince me that this preposterous story is true?"

"Well, you can see the mansion can't you?"

Friday, February 08, 2008

Ever been 'very satisfied'?

Herbert had worked for a well-known accountancy firm for some years, but had now obtained a position with another firm. He asked the firm he was leaving for a reference with the phrase 'very satisfied' in it. The firm supplied a reference that stated that Herbert had worked for the firm for X years, and that they were very satisfied that he was now leaving and had found another position.

(Thanks to John Newth for passing this one to me)

Adam Hart Davies sacked by HMRC

Following his recent public criticism of HMRC it has been announced that his reign as the front man for HMRC media adverts has come to end.

He has lasted five years, and succeeded Mrs Doyle, the tea lady from the Father Ted comedy show. The first such character was a cartoon.

I still remember speaking at the ICAEW annual conference in 1997 and explaining to the audience that the cartoon taxman was to have been called ‘Hector the Inspector’. However just before the campaign launched someone at the Revenue had checked the dictionary definition and noted that “to hector” meant ‘to bully or torment’. As these were not qualities with which the Revenue would want to be associated, the name was officially dropped.

Sharing the platform at the conference was a senior Revenue official, Sam Mitha. He spoke after me and immediately disputed my version of events. I was astonished until he ‘explained’: “… evidently Mr Lee is mistaken as I can assure you that Inspectors of Taxes do not have access to dictionaries.”

We have since laughed about this especially as everyone other than the Revenue always referred to the character as Hector.

Five funny money and tax one-liners

“It’s tax time . I know this because I’m staring at documents that make no sense to me, no matter how many beers I drink” - Dave Barry “...