While my friends played tag, I played "compliance audit" and issued playground-wide risk reports.
Other kids drew castles. I drew cash flow forecasts and colour-coded them by quarter.
I used to alphabetise my sweets and depreciate the ones with sticky wrappers.
I didn’t just play Monopoly. I insisted on calculating net asset value before buying Mayfair.
I dreamt of reconciling my toy till against the chocolate coins in my piggy bank.
As a child, I loved hide and seek — mostly because it mimicked forensic bookkeeping.
My imaginary friend was Inlander Revenyoo We had long chats about allowable expenses.
I was the only kid who ran a tuck shop with monthly management accounts and variance analysis.
Even at five, I believed every teddy bear tea party needed a robust audit trail.
I once grounded myself for breaching pocket money procurement protocol.
When I got a Scalextric, I immediately performed a cost-benefit analysis on the loop-the-loop.
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