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The company personnel department had carefully interviewed thirty-eight people for the job of assistant to the financial director.
The chief executive thought that one candidate - Charles - seemed ideal. Charles had been to a major public school. Not only was he a qualified accountant, but Charles also had a masters degree in business administration. He seemed fully aware of the latest creative accountancy techniques.
'Charles,' said the chief executive, we've decided to offer you the job. And as you're so well qualified we've decided to start you off on a slightly higher salary than the one advertised. We'll pay you 36,000 pounds a year.
'Thank you,' replied Charles. 'But how much is that per month?
This has evidently been doing the rounds for some time. Worth including on this blog too though. It's allegedly a letter sent by the taxman in reply to a taxpayer's refusal to pay outstanding taxes:
I am writing to you to express our thanks for your more than prompt reply to our latest communication, and also to answer some of the points you raise. I will address them, as ever, in order.
Firstly, I must take issue with your description of our last as a “begging letter”. It might perhaps more properly be referred to as a “tax demand”. This is how we at the Inland Revenue have always, for reasons of accuracy, traditionally referred to such documents.
Secondly, your frustration at our adding to the “endless stream of crapulent whining and panhandling vomited daily through the letterbox on to the doormat” has been noted. However, whilst I have naturally not seen the other letters to which you refer I would cautiously suggest that there being from “pauper councils, Lom…
On my blog for ambitious accountants I have just posted an item about how an architect blew me away by showing me a few photos on his iphone during a networking event. They reinforced what he was saying about the style of houses he had designed for clients.
I've been struggling to think of ways that accountants could do something similar. Showing a few photos of a well bound and balanced set of accounts for example wouldn't have the same impact.
In the spirit of this blog of course I can let my imagination run away a little. How about showing pictures of: the car parking spaces reserved for clients behind your office in the centre of town?your reception area with free tea and coffee, papers and the like for visitors?the toys and colouring books in the area close to reception for when clients bring their children with them?a tax official looking bloodied and brusied after a long meeting during which you successfully defended a client's tax position?your burly looking partner -…
Apparently Richard was challeneged by a senior official at HMRC who was curious as to how Richard could afford to spend so much time on his tax campaigning, research and writing. Richard explained that he was supported by the NHS.
The official nearly exploded with indignation. "Why on earth is the NHS supporting tax research?" he demanded to know.
Richard then explained that it was only doing so only indirectly. It seems his wife is a high earning GP!
During his lecture Richard later referred to the European Savings Tax Directive and stressed that his wife got very concerned the first time she heard him refer to it by its initials 'STD'. She wanted to know how and why and.....