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Andy Atkins is an elderly accountant operating from offices above a shop in a small town. One day he received a letter from HMRC, stating that they suspected he was not paying his employees the National Minimum Wage and they would send an inspector to interview them. On the appointed day, the inspector turned up.
"Tell me about your staff," he asked Andy.
"Well," said Andy, "there's my accounting trainee, I pay him £240 a week, and cover the costs of his training. Then there's my PA. She gets £190 a week, along with free board and lodging in the flat above the office. There's also the half-wit. He works a 16 hour day, does 90% of the work, earns about £25 a week, along with a bottle of whisky, and as a special treat occasionally gets to sleep with my wife."
"That's disgraceful" said the inspector, “I need to interview the half-wit."
Internal Control Weaknesses by Kermit FraudAuthorisation Limits by Mustapha SiggnatjeurHow Not To Panic At Year End by Wendy Orditors-CummingCash Control for Dummies by Hans IntilsRough Guide to Accounting by Major Control-WeaknessDouble Entry Delights by General LedgersFinancial Planning for Beginners by Bud JettMonthly Reporting by Anna LitticleExcel Analysis by Rosa DayterThe Notes to the Accounts by Hugh KairsCapital Tax Planning by Muvinov SureInsolvency by Justin Casey-Folds The Missing VAT Trader by Cara ZellBig Bonus by Laura CashUnexplained Difference by Frank D ScussionsWith due credit to Graham Thomas-Widger and Karen Watson who posted these (and a few others I didn't get) on AccountingWeb
At Art in Action I started chatting with Bruce Aitken who makes amazing and stylish wooden clocks. It transpired he used to be a design and technology (DT) teacher. I admitted that I had failed DT at school but explained I did get a CSE grade 1 in Woodwork. "I went on to qualify as an accountant" I added "but no one seemed very interested in my CSE grade 1 in Woodwork." Bruce's instinctive response made me smile: "Though you could have made a beautiful abacus" he said. I think the time may have passed.