Friday, January 29, 2016

What happens when you make a mistake?

A doctor's mistake is buried,
A lawyer's mistake is imprisoned,
A pharmacist's mistake is poisoned,
But, an accountant's mistake is...
....adjusted, corrected and reconciled!

Friday, January 22, 2016

HMRC's lists of worst excuses for late filed tax returns

Each January HMRC release a list which gets wide publicity and nudges late filers to get their tax returns submitted before the filing deadline at the end of the month.

In 2015 the list they released comprised:

  • My pet dog ate my tax return…and all the reminders.
  • I was up a mountain in Wales, and couldn’t find a postbox or get an internet signal.
  • I fell in with the wrong crowd.
  • I’ve been travelling the world, trying to escape from a foreign intelligence agency.
  • Barack Obama is in charge of my finances.
  • I’ve been busy looking after a flock of escaped parrots and some fox cubs.
  • A work colleague borrowed my tax return, to photocopy it, and didn’t give it back.
  • I live in a camper van in a supermarket car park.
  • My girlfriend’s pregnant.
  • I was in Australia

  • In 2016, a new list was released, and is just as bad:
    1. My tax papers were left in the shed and the rat ate them 
    2. I’m not a paperwork orientated person
    3. I always relied on my sister to complete my returns but we have now fallen out 
    4. My accountant has been ill 
    5. My dog ate my tax return 
    6. I will be abroad on deadline day with no internet access so will be unable to file 
    7. My laptop broke, so did my washing machine 
    8. My niece had moved in – she made the house so untidy I could not find my log in details to complete my return online 
    9. My husband ran over my laptop 
    10. I had an argument with my wife and went to Italy for 5 years 
    11. I had a cold which took a long time to go
    The list released in 2014 is on this blog here>>>

    Friday, January 15, 2016

    "I live in Brighton, please stop trying to tax me"

    At the end of last year Pete Miller, a tax adviser, bravely took to the stage, along with 4 other professional advisers in Leicester, to perform 5 minutes of stand-up comedy for The Big Difference charity.

    He told a story about how, many years previously, when he was still an Inspector of Taxes, he received a letter:
    Dear Mr Miller.
    Please stop writing to me and asking for tax.
    I live in Brighton.
    You work for the INLAND Revenue.

    The journalist, the engineer, the lawyer and the accountant

    A businessman was interviewing applicants for the position of Divisional Manager. He devised a simple test to select the most suitable perso...