Friday, February 26, 2016

Why did the Accountant fall off his bed?.

Why did the Accountant fall off his bed?.........

........ He didn't have a balance sheet

Friday, February 19, 2016

Why is collecting fish like collecting taxes?

A few years back a TV reporter, Jonathan Maitland, explained that the art of angling involves 3 things:
  • Attention to detail;
  • Organisation; and ultimately, sadly,
  • A touch of brutality
"Not unlike the art of tax collecting"

Friday, February 12, 2016

Top five worst tax return expense claims

HMRC has published a list of what they describe as the Top five worst tax return expense claims.

These are, apparently, the five most outrageous personal expenses claims included in 2013-14 Self Assessment tax returns.
  1. The costs for storing Mars Bars overnight in a fridge.
  2. The cost of a pair of flip flops so I don’t have to walk barefoot between my work’s changing and shower rooms.
  3. The costs for my intimate waxing. 
  4. I bought a second hand car to get me from home to work so I didn’t have to walk. 
  5. I purchased my own flat, so I need to claim back the money I spent on the furniture. 
I can't help but wonder how many of these were inspired by reports of claims about the expenses that MPs have claimed in the past!

Friday, February 05, 2016

Why is an income tax return like a girdle?

Q: Why is an income tax return like a girdle?

A: If you put the wrong figure in it, you are likely to get pinched.

HOW strong is HMRC's case?

Years ago a senior official was talking about HMRC prosecution policy. He mentioned an occasion when he had lost a case and went back to his...