Possibly the best email disclaimer ever

It's at the foot of emails from Peter Disney of Wood & Disney, a firm of Chartered Accountants. Peter has kindly given his permission for me to replicate it here.

DISCLAIMERS, RENUNCIATIONS AND IN GENERAL DENIAL OF EVERYTHING

Despite being based just 2 minutes from the internationally famous Gnome Magic (although we don't actually know anyone who admits to having visited it) and I have the unfortunate name of a well known cartoon creator we accept no responsibility whatsoever for anything particularly towards those with no sense of humour.

This communication together with any attachments transmitted with it ('this E-mail') is strictly private and is intended for the use of the very special and unique individual named above. It may contain information that is confidential, privileged or unsuitable for those with a sensitive disposition.

If you are not the intended recipient, any review, retransmission, disclosure, dissemination, distribution or copying of this email is not authorized (and could even be a criminal offence if we get the right judge) but at the very least constitutes an irritating social faux pas.

Addressees should check this E-mail for viruses, contaminants, pollutants, infections and any other form of submicroscopic organisms. wood and disney makes no representations as regards the absence of such potential nasties in this E-mail.

If you have received this E-mail in error please notify our IT Systems Team immediately by telephone on + 44 (01206) 233170 or via E-mail at grumpy@wood-disney.co.uk

Please then immediately destroy this E-mail including all attachments or corresponding hyperlinks etc and any copies of thereof. Don't forget to delete from your recycle bin and from all forms of backup media. If you are one of those strange people who prints out your emails but do not have a shredder then you are legally obliged to eat this message even if it gives you indigestion.

Wood & Disney Limited does not enter into any form of contract by means of Internet e-mail. All contracts to which Wood & Disney Limited is a party are to be documented by original paperwork and real signatures which is a bit tricky since everyone who works here is a cartoon character.