Analogies for how HMRC operates

If HMRC ran a café it would drag passers-by in from the street, 

force them to cook their own lunch, 

then fine them for overcooking the eggs. 

Two weeks later, it would dispatch a leaflet explaining that cooking eggs is easy! 

But doubling the fine.

This analogy formed part of Richard Godwin's Comment piece in The London Evening Standard on 21 December 2011.

Can you do better?