Tax issues arising from the Cinderella story

You know you've been talking about work too much..

A tax adviser had just read the story of Cinderella to their four-year-old daughter for the first time.

The little girl was fascinated by the story, especially the part where the pumpkin turns into a golden coach. Suddenly she piped up and asked her parent, "When the pumpkin turned into a golden coach, would that be classed as income or a capital gain?"

New names for Accountants

I asked for suggestions on Linkedin recently for new ways to describe accountants. Most people offered serious ideas. But my favourite fun ones were:

• Anxiety Transfer Expert - Alan Smith
• Business continuity practitioner - Kris McCulloch 
• Numbers facilitator - Melanie Curtis 
• Finance doctor - Mark Allen
• Money multiplier - Michelle Eshkeri

And the overall winner (as I'm sucker for acronyms):

Money And Numbers Inspector And Counter (MANIAC) - suggested by Adrian Markey

Five funny money and tax one-liners

“It’s tax time. I know this because I’m staring at documents that make no sense to me, no matter how many beers I drink”

- Dave Barry

“This would be a much better world if more couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt” 

- Earl Wilson
“I love America, but I can’t spend the whole year here. I can’t afford the taxes”

- Mick Jagger

“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t  need it.” 

- Bob Hope

“A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be" 

- unknown

"Goats ate my accounts" and other excuses

Some of the most outrageous reasons given to Companies House for late filings over the last 12 months include:

• “goats ate my accounts”
• “I found my wife in the bath with my accountant”
• “pirates stole my accounts”
• “we delivered the accounts to the betting office next door to Companies House”
• “a volcano erupted and prevented me from filing”
• “slugs ate my accounts”
• “it was Valentine’s Day”
• “my company was more successful than I thought it would be, so I was too busy to file”

Taken from the news story posted on Companies House website

Tony Hancock - The Income Tax Demand

This classic half hour radio episode first originally aired on 4 November 1956.

Tony Hancock receives a tax demand for £14 12s 3d re ten years' back tax. He refuses to pay as that represents 50% of his income over the period! (Even fifty years ago this would have been a tiny amount!) so he goes to see the Inspector - played by Kenneth Williams.

The inspector tells Hancock that most people ignore his letters. Once they've been ignored twice he ignores the taxpayers! He also recommends that Hancock should go to see a Chartered Accountant "you'll probably get away with it then!". Hancock takes his advice but the accountant turns out to be a crooked Sid James and mayhem ensues.