Tax inspectors and contraception

After a lengthy tax investigation has concluded the accountant invites his opposite number, an attractive lady tax inspector out for a drink. 

They go to the bar of a local hotel. After a few drinks they decide to 'get a room'. 

When the subject of contraception is raised the accountant gets a first hand lesson in the difference between neglect, wilful default and fraud - as explained by the tax inspector:

It would be neglect if you said you'd not brought one with you;
It would be wilful default if you refused to wear the one that I've brought with me; and
It would be fraud if you told me that you've had the snip!

Greeting card message for retiring tax partner

 Message seen on the front of a greeting card given to a tax partner on his retirement from a sizeable firm of accountants:

All I ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work.

Ten annoying myths about accountancy

1. Accounting is just about maths
2. Accounting services are expensive
3. Accountants are boring
4. Accounting is all about helping clients pay less tax
5. It's important to have an accounting degree before you start
6. Tax is payable by reference to turnover (rather than profit)
7. Profit and cash are the same
8. If there's money in the bank we must be doing alright
9. You don't need an accountant if you use Xero or QBO
10. Accountants all make loads of money and are loaded

Credit to AAT for their recent social media activity that generated the above suggestions.