10 maddening things accountants hear from their clients

1. “But you’re an accountant, I’m not supposed to pay any tax if I get you do my Return” 
2. "Can’t you get my tax bill down, I haven’t got the money to pay that” 
3. “So my tax bill is £1k. If I spend £1k, my tax bill is £0, right?“ 
4. "I want to become a company like my mate as now he doesn’t pay any tax" 
5. “I’ve worked like crazy during the last year or so, and you’re asking me to give a chunk to the tax man – not sure why I bothered, now – I might as well get a 9 to 5” 😲 (from someone who achieved his goal of being a first time home-owner as a result of such “bothering“) 
6.  “I heard from that guy on TV (we all know who that is, don’t we?) that if I did X,Y or Z it would get rid of my tax bill” 
7. "But my friend doesn't put cash sales on his tax return" 
8. "But why should I have to pay tax? I have private healthcare and the kids go to boarding school"
9. "But Dave down the pub told me you can just borrow money from your company and not pay any tax on it" 
10. "But my friend said she claims expenses on all her food at work on her tax return"