10 scary tax movies for Halloween

1. Tax Return of the Living Dead 
2. Silence of the ledgers 
3. Friday 31st January 
4. Rosemary's Bookkeeper
5. The Taxorcist 
6. Auditor Dogs 
7. VATman begins 
8. Psycho tax inspector 
9. Phantom of the Tax Office 
10. Little shop of HMRC 

The Song of a Lovesick Accountant

The Song of a Lovesick Accountant 

How to account for your loss of interest? 

How to analyse your manner strange? 

Tell me truly of my errors: 

Narrate the reasons for this change. 

Your company and loving presence 

I value over all else on earth. 

If some goodwill can now be shown 

I venture we’ll see love’s rebirth. 

Reconciliation swift I now am seeking: 

This current impasse leaves me tense. 

Do not discount my urgent pleading: 

Do not keep me in suspense. 

 Dennis Flynn

Is the glass half full or half empty?

 Is the glass half full or half empty?

To the optimist, the glass is half full. 

To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.  

To many accountants, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. 

To the realist, it doesn't matter if the glass is half empty or half full. There is clearly room for more. 

Anyway, instead of describing the glass they are more interested in drinking whatever it contains. 

And the older accountants who stop the debate and simply add whisky to the glass. They also point out you should never ask if the glass is half full or half empty. The question misses the point. The glass is refillable. And, anyway, why bother with the glass if you can find the bottle/jug?

The King and HMRC

It is not well known that the King is a keep fit enthusiast and insists on all of his gym equipment being laid out in exactly the same way ahead of each training session. 

When he can't make it he pays a small fine. 

The sign on the palace gym door reads: HM Customs and Exercise.