Hundreds of stories, jokes, videos, anecdotes, links and quotes relating to accountants, accountancy and tax related topics. If you've got something that makes you laugh - do send it in to mark@bookmarklee.co.uk
Friday, November 22, 2024
True story about an ex-chartered accountant
He tells a friend that "My clients don't care whether I keep paying my subs etc and I don't need the pressure of prospective visits from the Practice Assurance team - or anyone else."
The friend reminds him that he won't be able to describe himself as a Chartered Accountant any more or to give references that rely on that description.
A few weeks later the accountant meets his friend again. "I remembered what you said about references so last time I was asked for one I simply put "Ex-Chartered Accountant".
"How did your client respond?" asked the friend.
"Oh - I think he was pleased. He didn't say anything but I heard him later telling someone I was an EXcellent accountant."
Friday, November 15, 2024
Songs that might have been about tax avoidance
- April 6th Showers
- Savin' All My Tax For Me
- VAT's love got to do with it?
- H.M.R.C (to the tune of Y.M.C.A)
- God Rest PAYE Merry Gentlemen
- TAX! Who is it good for? Absolutely not me!
- Cayman Feel The Noize
- BVI, I, I, Delilah
- Big yellow tax dodge
- Ferry Cost To Jersey
- Strangers on the offshore
- The loot of love
- Wake me up before Monaco-go
- I'll be Revenue in all the old familiar places
- 'Cos I Am a Rich Man
Friday, November 08, 2024
Were the Owl and the Pussycat involved in tax avoidance?
The Owl and the Pussy-cat went to sea [going offshore obviously] In a beautiful pea green boat, They took some honey, and plenty of money, [evidently cash] Wrapped up in a five pound note. [money laundering perhaps?] |
Pussy said to the Owl, 'You elegant fowl! How charmingly sweet you sing! O let us be married! too long we have tarried: But what shall we do for a ring?' They sailed away, for a year and a day, To the land where the Bong-tree grows [obviously a tax haven] |
The big clue is in that penultimate line. Leaving the UK for a year and a day is the minimum period of absence required to ensure that they secured non-resident status under the rules then in place.
The above analysis was offered in 2009 by Andrew Hubbard, now Editor in Chief of Taxation magazine, when he was newly installed as President of CIOT, after the Chartered Tax Advisers' address on the anniversary of Edward Lear's birthday.
Friday, November 01, 2024
T-shirts for accountants
Perhaps the original here was the T-shirt that offered a definition of an accountant:
"Someone who does precision guesswork, based on unreliable data, provided by those of questionable knowledge - See also wizard, magician"
If you know me, you'll know why this has always appealed.
Others you might prefer include:
"Life’s a balance sheet – assets, liabilities, and too much depreciation."
"Accountant by day, spreadsheet ninja by night."
"People think accountants are boring… until they need one. Then we’re rockstars!"
"My life’s mission: trying to explain to people what a ‘debit’ really is."
"I tried ‘work-life balance’ once. The formula didn’t add up."
"Some say love makes the world go round. I say it’s double-entry bookkeeping."
"Being an accountant: the daily thrill of being almost accurate!"
True story about an ex-chartered accountant
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