Death is a serious business

Just before the start of a recent session of Matthew Huttons' excellent Monthly Tax Reviews (MTR), a discussion ensued as to the different names that some firms had for their Estate Planning teams.

One lady said that her group were called 'The Wills Girls' (or was that 'Willing'?).

My favourite though was the lady who said that her partners referred to her team as 'The Deads'. She also made a follow up comment that I didn't quite catch about her husband's view of this description. I'd best not speculate as to what he might have said!

I'd be grateful for further suggestions of unusual names for such teams, by way of comments on this thread or by email.

"From tax to taxidermy"

I saw this used to description the range of expertise that would be addressed in a new top quality business/lifestyle magazine:
4 Community.

I'm afraid I could see the connection immediately - just what most people want to do with the taxman. Stuff him!

Why is HMRC so keen on electronic filing?

This may be apocryphal of course but an ex member of HMRC staff told one of his friends that the reason should be obvious to us all.

If all returns were filed online it wouldn't be possible for HMRC to lose them - as still apparently happens with paper based returns (and CDs!)

Accountants and sex

The cover of the June issue of Accountancy magazine was adorend by what some have described as a 'racy' picture of a young lady in fishnets, high heels and a skimpy little black negligee. She was lounging on a red velvet backdrop holding a fan of playing cards with others scattered around her and one tucked into her garter.

Beneath the picture the first line was: New ICAEW President.
For the record, the new president is David Furst with whom I worked closely for many years during my time at Horwath Clark Whitehill. Indeed, David proposed me for partnership there.

A closer study of the cover reveals the real headline for the photo is further up the page:
Gambling tips - seducing the finance world.

I've just heard that readers in the Middle East are wondering why the authorities have removed the cover such that Accountancy is being distributed 'coverless' (or is that, 'topless'?).

Is this the first time that Accountancy magazine has been censored?

Not another boring accountant (part two)

I explained how and why I came to appear on Newsnight in a previous posting.

My actual TV slot comprised a very short magic trick (the self assessment pom pom stick) followed by me entering into the spirit of things, by being shown 'magically' changing from one outfit to another.. The idea was to provide examples to match the voice over - If not a magician then what next for the chartered accountant in films? So, through the wonders of television, as they say, they showed me magically transforming into a mad scientist then a James Bond style secret agent and finally a gumshoe detective.

At the end I recall Peter Snow, who hadn't seen what we filmed, started his subsequent interview by saying. Of course, not all accountants are as entertaining as Mark Lee. How kind!

Traffic Wardens and Tax Inspectors

Imagine you are driving and see two people ahead of you who won't get out of the way. You recognise them as a local traffic warden and a tax inspector. If you had to hit one of them which would you choose?

Accountants would generally go for the Inspector of Taxes. After all, it has to be Business before Pleasure.

Thanks again to Keith Gordon for sharing that one with me.

Had to happen

At the CIOT London Branch Dinner last night Keith Gordon feigned disappointment at finding himself again responsible for introducing the after dinner speaker. It seems he only knows one clean tax joke and he'd told it last year.

Keith said that had asked a contact at HMRC for ideas. Apparently the contact claimed to have such a big collection of tax jokes that he promised to send them to Keith on a CD.

Sadly it never arrived.

[In case anyone is still reading this blog long after 2008, you should be aware that there was a big news story in the UK earlier this year when HMRC lost 2 CDs' containing the personal data of 12 Million taxpayers. Thus Keith's joke was well received!]