John Challis on why he didn't become a tax inspector

John Challis tells the story that in the late 1970's he was summoned by one of her Majesty's Tax Inspectors to discuss his meagre contribution to the Inland Revenue.

John notes that he sat before a middle-aged grey suited man who had obviously not seen the light of day for some time and, after a few minutes silence, the Inspector looked up and said: "You seem to be remarkably unsuccessful in your chosen profession, why don't you give it up and do something more rewarding?"

John thought for a moment and replied: "What? You mean become a tax inspector or something?"

"There's no need to be offensive," replied the Inspector.

John says he's rather glad he didn't follow the Inspector's advice. [Since then he's gone onto star as Boysie in Only Fools and Horses and in the spin-off sit com The Green Green Grass]

Dictionary definition (or not) of timesheet

As suggested by Cara Miller of Miller Walsh Associates in an article for Accountancy Age:

Timesheet (noun): swearword commonplace in many a UK accountany office. Bane of life. Likely to cause lots of sighing. Method of keeping boss happy while driving everyone else crazy...

Can you suggest any further definitions?

Charlie's Tax Return (from The West Wing)

The 3 short clips linked up here are a delightful reminder of how wonderful was the TV show, The West Wing. And even though it addresses US taxes the reason for the discrepancy can just as easily arise under the UK's PAYE system.

The bar at the Taxation Awards

Stephen Mangan was the host at last week's Taxation Awards. This is an annual event for 600 of the UK's top tax advisers - and a few hangers on like me.

Mangan did a superb job. Worth a mention on this blog were his observations after he announced that following the awards ceremony there would be a cash bar.

"A cash bar? At the Taxation awards? Make sure you keep your receipts!"

Oh well. maybe you had to be there...

What do you give the man who has everything?

A tax investigation!

Hidden money away and not told the taxman? Your options...

The following suggestions are those of Phil Hodgen. He has offered this advice especially for those who have hidden money away in Lichtenstein banks, lied and not declared the interest on their accounts:

• Jump up and down and say “It’s not right! The government can’t do illegal stuff like that!” (Response: So what? Cat. Bag. Out.) 
• Sit tight and do nothing. (Response: Inevitable merely postponed. Pain handed to your kids because you won’t deal with it.) 
• Run away to Panama. (Saw that happen last week for a US citizen I know. He is a fugitive for the rest of his life.) 

Or you can be a grown up and clean up your mess. (Why make a money problem into a jail problem?)

A unique way to encourage clients to file their tax returns early