Daft letters to the taxman

The following extracts from letters received by the taxman were first published in Taxation magazine in 1958*

"I received your income tax form, but had to go into hospital an hour afterwards"
"I have not been living with my husband for several years, and have much pleasure in enclosing his last will and testament"
"Please correct this assessment. I have not worked for the past 3 months, as I have broken my leg. Hoping you will do the same."
"My husband is in HM Forces. I have no children. Trusting it will have your attention."
"Please send me a claim form, as I have had a baby. I had one before, but it got dirty and I burnt it."
"My husband died on 3 November. is there any post-war credit due, as I understand that a person has to die before receiving any benefit?"
"I cannot pay the full amount at the moment as my husband is in hospital. As soon as I can I will send you the remains."
"I have to inform you that my mother in law passed away after receiving your form on 22 November. Thanking you."
"Thank you for explaining my income tax liability. You have done it so clearly that I almost understand it."

*These extracts from letters were apparently referenced in a speech given by a retired Inspector of Taxes, Mr AEA Elston, while reminiscing at a meeting of the Oldham Rotary Club, and reported in the Oldham Evening Chronicle. The 1958 report in Taxation magazine was republished in December 1996.

Who Says Accountants Are Boring? Not WithumSmith+Brown

Crazy business expense claims

HMRC has published a list of what they claim to be the most outlandish expenses that customers tried to offset against business profits:

1. Holiday flights to the Caribbean
2. Luxury watches as Christmas gifts for staff - from a company with no employees
3. International flights for dental treatment ahead of business meetings
4. Pet food for a Shih Tzu ‘guard dog’
5. Armani jeans as protective clothing for painter and decorator
6. Cost of regular Friday night ‘bonding sessions’ - running into thousands of pounds.
7. Underwear - for personal use
8. A garden shed for private use - plus the costs of the space it takes up in the garden
9. Betting slips
10. Caravan rental for the Easter weekend.

Cuts cause extra tax - poem

This was one of the winning entries in a limerick competition run by Taxation magazine*

The Chancellor spoke to the nation.

And we were all filled with elation.

but the tax cuts proposed.

Were swiftly exposed 

as a myth by the scribes in Taxation

* This entry was written by David Norton. The competition results were published in December 1999!

The FD's assistant may not be quite right for the job

The company personnel department had carefully interviewed thirty-eight people for the job of assistant to the financial director.

The chief executive thought that one candidate - Charles - seemed ideal.

Charles had been to a major public school. Not only was he a qualified accountant, but Charles also had a masters degree in business administration. He seemed fully aware of the latest creative accountancy techniques.

'Charles,' said the chief executive, we've decided to offer you the job. And as you're so well qualified we've decided to start you off on a slightly higher salary than the one advertised. We'll pay you £36,000 a year.

'Thank you,' replied Charles. 'But how much is that per month?

Found on the KEEPERS ACCOUNTANCY website.

Tax avoidance schemes - an odd way to define what's legal and what isn't.

It is illegal to avoid telling the tax man anything you do not want him to know, but legal not to tell him information you do not mind him knowing.    

Sounds weird but it's true. Sort of.

The actual law has had its wording twisted to make it seem funnier. The law actually requires a person to disclose schemes that are deliberately designed to avoid tax which would otherwise be due to HMRC.

Apparently it is an oversimplification of the Tax Avoidance Scheme Regs 2006, S.I. 2006 No 1543.

Rants against Tax Dodgers from The Last Leg

The clip below, from The Last Leg tv show includes some funny rants against those who avoid tax and accountants who promote tax avoidance schemes!

Bad language alert!