"Goats ate my accounts" and other excuses

Some of the most outrageous reasons given to Companies House for late filings over the last 12 months include:

• “goats ate my accounts”
• “I found my wife in the bath with my accountant”
• “pirates stole my accounts”
• “we delivered the accounts to the betting office next door to Companies House”
• “a volcano erupted and prevented me from filing”
• “slugs ate my accounts”
• “it was Valentine’s Day”
• “my company was more successful than I thought it would be, so I was too busy to file”

Taken from the news story posted on Companies House website

Tony Hancock - The Income Tax Demand

This classic half hour radio episode first originally aired on 4 November 1956.

Tony Hancock receives a tax demand for £14 12s 3d re ten years' back tax. He refuses to pay as that represents 50% of his income over the period! (Even fifty years ago this would have been a tiny amount!) so he goes to see the Inspector - played by Kenneth Williams.

The inspector tells Hancock that most people ignore his letters. Once they've been ignored twice he ignores the taxpayers! He also recommends that Hancock should go to see a Chartered Accountant "you'll probably get away with it then!". Hancock takes his advice but the accountant turns out to be a crooked Sid James and mayhem ensues.

Typical problem client

Almost every accountant who completes self-assessment tax returns will recognise the following three archetypal clients:

Kara Earabahg – She saves everything up for you and lets you have it in a big plastic bag. You or your staff have to work through a load of irrelevant papers to identify the data that is relevant to the tax return. And sometimes you wonder if you’ve found it all.

Ian Complete – He never sends over everything you need. Typically he forgets to provide details of his pension contributions, gift aid donations and sundry allowable business deductions.

Lars Minit – He ignores all your requests and prompts. He gets you everything you need only just before the filing deadline and has faith in your ability to ensure he avoids late filing penalties.

Best excuses for late filings at Companies House

Each year Companies House receive unusual excuses from directors who fail to file their company accounts on time.

 Some of the most outrageous reasons given include:

•  “goats ate my accounts” 
• “I found my wife in the bath with my accountant” 
• “pirates stole my accounts” 
• “we delivered the accounts to the betting office next door to Companies House” 
• “a volcano erupted and prevented me from filing” 
• “slugs ate my accounts” 
• “it was Valentine’s Day” 
• “my company was more successful than I thought it would be, so I was too busy to file”

Texting abbreviations used by Accountants

LOL = Lots Of Ledgers

TIA = Taxes In Action

WAYF = Where Are Your Files

CRM = Client Rates Me

BRB = Brilliantly Reconciled Bank

FTW = Fin-Tech Wizards

ROFL = reporting on financials live

LMAO = loving my accounting online

IMHO = invoicing my heart out

BFF = bank feeds’r fast

WTF = wicked tax filing

Materiality - the music video

The ever-so material accounting song you've all been waiting for!! Materiality is an auditor's anthem created by two accounting musicians: Petty Ca$h [rap] & Auditor Meri [lead vocals & music production].

The role of an auditor

The role of the company auditor is commonly misunderstood.

To help clarify the the limited responsibilities of auditors, reference is often made to the immortal words of Lord Justice Stopes in the Kingston Cotton Mill case: "The auditor is a watchdog not a bloodhound".
Many years later this phrase was famously corrupted by an aspiring young accountancy student. During an examination where he felt under significant time pressure he wrote, in evident frustration: "The auditor is a watchdog, not a bloody greyhound".