Is this the best non-reference given when an accountant moves to a new job?

Many years ago I was told this was true story by John Newth, when he was Deputy Editor of Taxation magazine.

Herbert had worked for a well-known accountancy firm for some years, but had realised his career prospects there were limited. After a number of interviews with other firms he managed to secure a job offer that he was keen to accept.

He asked the firm he was leaving for a reference with the phrase 'very satisfied' in it.

The partner concerned took this as an opportunity to be very truthful. He sent out a reference that stated that Herbert had worked for the firm for X years, and that the partners were very satisfied that he was now leaving and had found another position.

Sadly I don't know what happened there after. We might expect that the job offer was rescinded and that Herbert remained at his old firm. The law of unintended consequences perhaps?

Who came came first? The accountants or the tax inspectors?

An accountant and a tax inspector were having a drink and a chat away from their respective offices.

They started discussing who was part of the more noble profession - accountants or tax inspectors. After a few drinks and various arguments they agreed the most noble profession was whichever had been around the longest.

The accountant, convinced he'd won, quoted the bible. He said:

Even before God created Adam he created an orderly universe from chaos. An orderly universe implies the involvement of accountants to monitor and keep track of developments. By definition some of the angels must have been accountants. There were no taxes, so no tax inspectors around that early in human history.

The tax inspector wasn't beaten. He listened patiently and then simply said: "Who do you think created the chaos?"

What you never want to hear clients say during an audit

Me: your employees aren’t providing me with the support I’ve been requesting
Client: I’m having the same problem
--
Me: we haven’t received your reconciliation yet Client: yeah, you’re not going to
--
Me: So, you own these three vendors? CEO: yeah, but it’s unrelated to our business
--
Me: can you please provide support for the accrual? Client: sure! *sends General Ledger dump*
--
Me: so, how do you value your inventory? CFO: hahahhahaha
--
Me: How’d you come up with this accrual amount? Client: that’s a WAG - Wild Ass Guess
--
“*looking at a transaction that was recorded improperly* Me: so why did you record it this way CFO: well that’s the way we’ve always done it and I’m not changing it because my staff will get confused
--
Me: Please can I have support for that journal entry? Client: sure! *prints off the journal entry and hands it to me*
--
And, in the same vein:
After waiting 5 months for the client to respond to data requests, client then replies in a hundred emails in one day and says:

“We’re looking for quick turnaround on this. End of the week preferably.”
--
Originally collated and shared by the twitter account @overheardaudit

Before PwC, before Coopers & Lybrand, there was Cooper Brothers.....

Long before the merger of Coopers and Lybrand and Price Waterhouse created the firm we now know as PwC,  Coopers was originally called Cooper Brothers.

The firm was originally based in Gutter Lane, London. Indeed they may have been the only building with an address identified as being in Gutter Lane.

Legend has it that at one stage the partners wrote to the Corporation of London suggesting that in view of their long tenancy it might be appropriate to rename the place Coopers Lane.

The Corporation, so the story goes, wrote back saying "as we've been here longer why don't you change your name to Gutter Brothers."

Post script: I was told a while back that when, much more recently, the Corporation was selling off at auction the old City street signs, Coopers & Lybrand bought the Gutter Lane set.

This is how accountants could be seen by the world at large. If only.

Accountants wearing pink?
Accountants in lime green?
Accountants at the cutting edge of every fashion scene?

Accountants telling jokes?
Accountants getting laughs?
Accountants being popular and signing autographs?

Accountant boy and girl bands, in at number one?
Accountants on Big Brother, providing all the fun?

Accountants chased by groupies, who get down on their knees…
Accountants in a different world – a world without John Cleese!

Thank you Sean Kelly

Bizarre excuses for late filing of company accounts

Each year Companies House receives unusual excuses from directors who fail to file their company accounts on time.

They report that some of the most outrageous reasons given include:

• “goats ate my accounts”
• “I found my wife in the bath with my accountant”
• “pirates stole my accounts”
• “we delivered the accounts to the betting office next door to Companies House”
• “a volcano erupted and prevented me from filing”
• “slugs ate my accounts”
• “it was Valentine’s Day”
• “my company was more successful than I thought it would be, so I was too busy to file”

Would you ever admit this to a Tax Tribunal?

Years ago I was told the story of an accountant who took an appeal to the Tribunal on the basis that there were undisclosed mitigating circumstances which would exonerate his client.

When it came to the hearing he stood up and declared his client was entirely blameless because, as he was willing to admit to the Tribunal, he was a pretty rubbish accountant and had let his client down badly.

Under the rules as they then stood, this may well have been accepted as a 'reasonable excuse' as long as the accountant could also show that the client had good reason for assuming the accountant was up to the job.

I didn't hear what the Tribunal decided but it just goes to show that whatever mistakes you might make..... there always worse accountants out there!