Mr Ledger, the accountant - Nominative determinism in action?

Nominative determinism suggests that people gravitate towards areas of work that fit their names.  In this context AccountancyAge ran a competition a while back to find accountants who might have moved into the profession due to their name.

The winning submission came from an accountant called Mike Broadway. It wasn't about himself though:

'I was articled to W D Menzies & Co [now Menzies] in the early 60's and one of the partners was a Mr William Ledger. 

All articled clerks had to take a turn on the switchboard and it was amusing to hear clients asking to speak to "Mr Ledger, the accountant" as if it was a game of Happy Families.

'Our amusement didn't end there, as we also imagined the young William doing National Service as Private Ledger before taking a commission to become, eventually, General Ledger. 

'Bill, as he was known, but not to his face, had in fact served in the Marines, making him "Sails" Ledger.

We finally planned a post-military career for Bill as the warden of a bird sanctuary - wait for it - "Perches" Ledger.

Have you ever encountered any other appropriately named accountants?

25 Tips for accountants working from home for the first time

The following suggestions are intended to make your home feel more like the office:

1. Throughout the day randomly put a wet floor sign in front of the bathroom door. 
2. Install a water cooler (with paper cups) in the hall to stand by.
3. Put a sign up in the kitchen to say food left in fridge over weekend will be thrown away. 
4. Fill a fire bucket with sand. Then put cigarette butts in and place the bucket outside the front door 
5. Jam the photocopier and put a note on it saying ‘engineer called’ 
6. Set off your alarm clock and stand out in the street pretending there is a fire drill. 
7. Record yourself chewing loudly, picking your teeth, humming, tapping your biro on the desk (and any other such annoying noises. Then play back on loop to invoke nostalgia for that genuine office ambience. 
8. Make ID cards for all the family and insist they must always be on show. 
9. Shout out to no-one in particular. "Is anyone else having trouble getting on outlook this morning?...I'm just getting that little egg timer going round and round! 
10. Designate your back door as a fire exit, put stickers up indicating such then lock it and place something heavy in front of it. 
11. Leave passive-aggressive post-it notes on various doors, about switching lights off, flushing the toilet, not stealing from the fridge. 
12. Glance over your shoulder occasionally while surfing Facebook on your computer. 
13. Place a PLEASE WASH YOUR HANDS sign in the loo, and a cautionary note on the hot tap reading CAUTION HOT WATER. 
14. Put a signing-in book at the front door.  
15. Make sure you only put empty milk bottles or bottles with an inch of sour milk in the fridge. All other milk must be left out on the surfaces. 
16. Pretend that you’ve installed a vending machine by mixing a dash of vinegar and bleach into every cup of tea or coffee. 
17. Steal your own stationery and toilet rolls. 
18. Use your credit card to swipe access for all your doors and hang signs on the inside that say make sure door is closed. 
19. Put a sticker on your thermostat saying 'DO NOT TOUCH' and then turn it up to max. Then open all the windows because it is too hot. 
20. Turn all the lights on, even in the empty rooms. 
21. Put a sign on the door with your name and job title, and insist that anyone who needs to speak to you makes an appointment first. 
22. Get yourselves an imaginary coworker to blame things on. So it’s Mary who keeps leaving her dirty cups all over the place and we really don't know what to do about her. 
23. Create a stack of "Out of order" signs. Put on household appliances, but also on doors and mailbox. And the cat.
24. Randomly scatter sugar granules, teaspoons and used mugs around the kitchen and leave a couple of cupboard doors open. 
25. Stick a sign above the kitchen sink. THE WASHING UP FAIRY HAS RESIGNED - PLEASE WASH UP YOUR OWN MUGS. THANK YOU. 

Who was the first accountant?

Who was the first accountant?
Adam. He got interested in figures, turned the first leaf, made the first entry, lost interest after withdrawal, buggered up the monthly accounts and raised the first liability.

Taxing the Toffs

In light of current disputes as to who warrants being ennobled, I am reminded of a suggestion I heard in 2008.

A progressive system should be based on taxation. Acceptance of a title such as a peerage might command a 10 per cent surcharge on the higher rate of tax.

Lesser honours might command a lower rate of tax.

Honours would remain accessible to all in society but only funded by those who passed a certain financial threshold.

This annual “toff tax” would be a lucrative way for the state (not the party) to collect revenue to fund the political infrastructure we demand but will not fund ourselves.

It will also allow those honoured to proclaim publicly their loyalty to the nation that honours them.

Extract from a letter on 17 May 2008 letters page of the FT sent in by James Brooke Turner, London SW2 3TA

Why it's best to ski with accountants...

Why is it best to ski with accountants?

Becuase there's safety in numbers.

Tax evasion at the movies

Film titles adapted to suggest tax evasion related topics:

• Fatal Deduction
• Force Ten Grand from Navarone
• Returns of the Pink Panther 
• Ocean's P11D 
• Shawshank Tax Redemption 
• The Accountant of Monte Cristo 
• The Italian (cash in hand) job 
• Von Ryan's Expenses 
• A Tax Inspector Calls 
• Evasion of the Bodysnatchers 
• Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Tax Evasion But Were Afraid to Ask 
• Friends with Benefits-in-Kind 
• Fiddler on the Roof (ok this one didn't need adapting!)

Any more?

10 imaginative excuses for late tax returns and expense claims

Every year, HMRC receives some imaginative excuses and expense claims following the 31 January Self Assessment deadline.

HMRC has just highlighted 10 of the most weird and wonderful excuses and expense claims they have received from taxpayers over the last 10 years.

The questionable expenses claims for item are:

• caravan rental for the Easter weekend 
• £4.50 for sausage and chips meal expenses for 250 days
• a music subscription so I can listen to music while I work
• pet food for a Shih Tzu ‘guard dog’ 

And the excuses are:

• I was up a mountain in Wales, and couldn’t find a post box or get an internet signal 
• my dog ate the post … again
• my hamster ate my post 
• I’ve been cruising round the world in my yacht, and only picking up post when I’m on dry land
• a DJ was too busy with a party lifestyle – spinning the deck….in a bowls club 
• my mother-in-law is a witch and put a curse on me 

All the excuses and expenses listed above were unsuccessful.