Taxpayer received 90 incorrect demands for £100 penalty

Pity poor Trevor Bell. HMRC sent him 90 letters, each charging £100 penalty.

Trevor, who owns Trevor Bell Construction Limited, recently changed the name of his business and had notified HMRC of the changes.

But each letter stated that 31-year-old was in arrears with the company and that he had to pay the tax for the sub contractors he employed.

As soon as Trevor alerted HMRC, they admitted the mistake and they said they would put it right.

Three days later Trevor received the apology, those of us who are familiar with the dealings of HMRC, might have both feared and expected.

He received a further 90 letters, all stating that he owed nothing!

When clients don't want to pay in full...

Satire: Angry taxpayers demand tutorial from Lord Ashcroft

The Daily Mash published a wonderful satirical article yesterday. Here are some highlights:

VOTERS across Britain have expressed outrage at Lord Ashcroft's ability to avoid more tax than them.

The billionaire Tory donor has used his non-domiciled status to lower his tax bill by an estimated £127 million leading to demands he conduct a mass tutorial at Wembley Stadium using short, simple words and an easy-to-follow Powerpoint presentation.

Julian Cook, an economist at Madeley-Finnegan, said: "Lord Ashcroft is one of around 60 million people in Britain who want to pay less tax.

"He does this by hiring an accountant who reduces his tax bill by as much as is legally possible, sends him an invoice and then everyone goes about their day. As you can see it's all incredibly evil."

Labour has seized on the revelations, insisting Lord Ashcroft's ability to make vast amounts of money and hang on to as much of it as he possibly can shows the Tories cannot be trusted with the nation's finances.

A spokesman said: "By failing to persuade the Telegraph and the Mail to go on and on and on about all the non-domiciled Labour donors who have done exactly the same thing, David Cameron has shown an appalling lack of judgement."

Meanwhile Nathan Muir, a Guardian reading Labour voter from Highate, insisted: "If I was a multi-millionaire I would pay all my tax at the full rate because I want to help build a fair and equal society where every child has a chance to be all they can be."

The Daily Mash is a satirical website covering national and international news with spoof stories, commentary and opinion. NB: "The website contains dirty words and occasional references to humping"

The dancing accountant

Worth watching right to the end, even beyond the post dance interaction between the accountant and the judges.

Tony Hancock - The income tax demand

Here's a link to a sound file of the half hour radio episode first aired over fifty years ago on 4 November 1956.

Tony Hancock receives a tax demand for £14 12s 3d re ten years' back tax. He refuses to pay as that represents 50% of his income over the period! (Even fifty years ago this would have been a tiny amount!) so he goes to see the Inspector - played by Kenneth Williams.

The inspector tells Hancock that he can't just pay the outstanding tax, they have to haggle a bit. He also says that most people ignore his letters. Once they've been ignored twice he ignores the taxpayers! He also recommends that Hancock should go to see a Chartered Accountant "you'll probably get away with it then!". Hancock takes his advice but the accountant turns out to be a crooked Sid James and mayhem ensues.

If I were an auditor (song parody)

Lyrics:
If I were an auditor, and you were a lady
Would you marry me anyway?
Would you hold or trade me?
If an auditor were my trade, would you still find me?
Or would you always second guess me, like everybody following behind me?

Save our love through loneliness,
Save our love through sorrow,
Would you give me sale treatment,
Or tell me I was borrowed?

If I worked for an audit firm, would you still love me?
Answer me babe, 'Yes I would," you wouldn't put the lawyers above me
If I worked a million hours, in audit, tax, or advising
Would our love grow every day, or only be amortizing?

So I can document today, you mean what you say, in the story you tell.
I need evidence today, to rely on what you say, before wedding bells.
Speak a little louder into my lapel.

If I were an auditor, and you were a lady
Would you marry me anyway?
Would you hold or trade me?
Would you marry a CPA?
You can count on me, baby.

This 'music video'was filmed in Second Life. Song parody, "If I Were an Auditor," based on "If I Were a Carpenter." Produced by the Maryland Association of CPAs

Four Funerals and a Wedding - by Richard Curtis

Richard Curtis, the Deputy Editor of Taxation magazine has outlined a tax related film script on the Taxation blog. The inspiration for this idea being the other Richard Curtis who has moved, temporarily, into the world of tax with the Robin Hood Tax.

Richard (from Taxation) suggests that Four Funerals and a Wedding:

"...will be a laugh a minute slapstick comedy based in a fictional Exchequer department in the swinging (as in swinging from one idea to the next) tax capital of the world, London.

The plot will be based around politicians and Treasury officials who seek to outdo each other with ever more outlandish tax plans, which then require ever more outlandish schemes to sort out the fun-filled chaos that results.
Remember that zero per cent corporation tax band? Remember how we laughed?

The four funerals?

That will be tax plans and reliefs that have been buried over the years: taper relief, zero per cent corporation tax, the ten per cent band abolition, higher rate relief on pension premiums for the wealthy.
These are just a few that come to mind and the final top four will be chosen from the crazy laughter they elicit from my audience response group.

The wedding?

That’ll involve the joyful union of Inland Revenue and HM Customs & Excise."

Inspired!