Tax issues arising from the Cinderella story

You know you've been talking about work too much..

A tax adviser had just read the story of Cinderella to their four-year-old daughter for the first time.

The little girl was fascinated by the story, especially the part where the pumpkin turns into a golden coach. Suddenly she piped up and asked her parent, "When the pumpkin turned into a golden coach, would that be classed as income or a capital gain?"

Five funny money and tax one-liners

“It’s tax time. I know this because I’m staring at documents that make no sense to me, no matter how many beers I drink”

- Dave Barry

“This would be a much better world if more couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt” 

- Earl Wilson
“I love America, but I can’t spend the whole year here. I can’t afford the taxes”

- Mick Jagger

“A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t  need it.” 

- Bob Hope

“A father is someone who carries pictures in his wallet where his money used to be" 

- unknown

"Goats ate my accounts" and other excuses

Some of the most outrageous reasons given to Companies House for late filings over the last 12 months include:

• “goats ate my accounts”
• “I found my wife in the bath with my accountant”
• “pirates stole my accounts”
• “we delivered the accounts to the betting office next door to Companies House”
• “a volcano erupted and prevented me from filing”
• “slugs ate my accounts”
• “it was Valentine’s Day”
• “my company was more successful than I thought it would be, so I was too busy to file”

Taken from the news story posted on Companies House website

Tony Hancock - The Income Tax Demand

This classic half hour radio episode first originally aired on 4 November 1956.

Tony Hancock receives a tax demand for £14 12s 3d re ten years' back tax. He refuses to pay as that represents 50% of his income over the period! (Even fifty years ago this would have been a tiny amount!) so he goes to see the Inspector - played by Kenneth Williams.

The inspector tells Hancock that most people ignore his letters. Once they've been ignored twice he ignores the taxpayers! He also recommends that Hancock should go to see a Chartered Accountant "you'll probably get away with it then!". Hancock takes his advice but the accountant turns out to be a crooked Sid James and mayhem ensues.

Typical problem client

Almost every accountant who completes self-assessment tax returns will recognise the following three archetypal clients:

Kara Earabahg – She saves everything up for you and lets you have it in a big plastic bag. You or your staff have to work through a load of irrelevant papers to identify the data that is relevant to the tax return. And sometimes you wonder if you’ve found it all.

Ian Complete – He never sends over everything you need. Typically he forgets to provide details of his pension contributions, gift aid donations and sundry allowable business deductions.

Lars Minit – He ignores all your requests and prompts. He gets you everything you need only just before the filing deadline and has faith in your ability to ensure he avoids late filing penalties.

Best excuses for late filings at Companies House

Each year Companies House receive unusual excuses from directors who fail to file their company accounts on time.

 Some of the most outrageous reasons given include:

•  “goats ate my accounts” 
• “I found my wife in the bath with my accountant” 
• “pirates stole my accounts” 
• “we delivered the accounts to the betting office next door to Companies House” 
• “a volcano erupted and prevented me from filing” 
• “slugs ate my accounts” 
• “it was Valentine’s Day” 
• “my company was more successful than I thought it would be, so I was too busy to file”

Texting abbreviations used by Accountants

LOL = Lots Of Ledgers

TIA = Taxes In Action

WAYF = Where Are Your Files

CRM = Client Rates Me

BRB = Brilliantly Reconciled Bank

FTW = Fin-Tech Wizards

ROFL = reporting on financials live

LMAO = loving my accounting online

IMHO = invoicing my heart out

BFF = bank feeds’r fast

WTF = wicked tax filing