Wednesday, April 28, 2010
The shepherd looks at the young man, then looks at the large flock of grazing sheep and replies, "Okay." The young man parks the car, connects his laptop to the mobile-fax, enters a NASA Website, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with algorithms and pivot tables. He then prints out a 150-page report on his high-tech mini-printer, turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1,586 sheep."
The shepherd cheers, "That's correct, you can have your sheep." The
young man takes an animal and puts it in the back of his Porsche. The shepherd looks at him and asks, "If I guess your profession, will you return my animal to me?" The young man answers, "Yes,why not?"
The shepherd says, "You are an auditor."
"How did you know?" asks the young man.
"Very simple," answers the shepherd. "Firstly, you came here without being wanted. Secondly, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew, and thirdly, you don't understand anything about my business..."
".....now can I have my dog back?"
Monday, April 26, 2010
It's hidden offshore in a mighty stash
and now you can't get to it,
because of the ash.
It's not all that rash
It will save you from a nasty
Inland Revenue clash!
We'll let them off the out of date reference to Inland Revenue as presumably HMRC would have prevented the poem from scanning!
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
"I still think we need an episode where Doctor Who sorts out his tax affairs; we still have had no explanation of his means of support and I would imagine that HMRC would be very keen to get their hands on a completed statement of assets for a start.
Sight of his completed DOM1 form would also be interesting, and it’s no good Matt Smith arguing that the department doesn’t issue them anymore, he should have completed one when he was in his original William Hartnell guise.
I’m just trying to figure out whether he would be entitled to the age allowance or not, the good doctor seems to be getting younger (bit like policemen now I think of it and now I think of it are the two somehow connected, it's a police box after all)."
- Richard Curtis on the Taxation blog.
Edit - Peter Martin has since suggested that at least we now know what TARDIS stands for: Tax Avoidance - Residence & Domicile Issues Shafted!
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Apparently this US published book:
"weaves entertaining and educational stories culled from tax accounting since biblical times. It presents the never-before-told story of how American and world history have been profoundly influenced by taxes. Unique, quirky, interlaced with personal accounts, and always enlightening, these amazing tax stories have involved some of our best- known leaders and celebrities."The book contains discussions about tax songs and videos, many of which have appeared on this blog. It also includes lesser know tax related stories including:
- gifts to Anna Nicole Smith.
- Liberace's garish "glamour and elegance," and
- Irving Berlin's songs.
- President Franklin Roosevelt made two attempts at taxing income over $25,000 at a whopping 100 percent! And he saved a future president from prison for criminal tax fraud.
- Abolish the IRS? Andrew Jackson actually did. But it came back 28 years later.
- Prior to 1933, U.S. presidents were exempt from income tax.
- Only one U.S. president has ever visited the IRS building.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Friday, April 09, 2010
"One fashion photographer we consulted found it helpful, when an IRS* auditor came to call, to have several scantily clad models running about the studio to facilitate ordinary, reasonable and clear thinking on the part of the auditor."* US taxman
Thursday, April 08, 2010
Tuesday, April 06, 2010
Jeremy asked why people who are more prepared than him, and book train tickets in advance, pay less for their train tickets.
David Mitchell interpreted this as a complaint about what could be described as a tax on spontaneity.
From 6 November 2009 episode of the News Quiz on Radio 4
Some of the most outrageous reasons given to Companies House for late filings over the last 12 months include: “goats ate my accounts” “...
1. You work very odd hours. 2. You are paid a lot of money to keep your client happy. 3. You are paid well but your pimp gets most of the ...
"Do accountants laugh?" was a question posed online by top Comedy Magician, John Archer ahead of a gig for accountants. Among th...
What follows is an entertaining analysis of the merger of two accounting bodies as if they had met and married in 2014 in a lavish ceremony ...